The other day I went to this contest with some friends representing my school, and we stayed in a hotel. I stayed with this friend I just recently knew, so we didnt know alot about each other. And also, I havent come out to anyone at all. This guy is very popular with the ladies, he actually has a "girlfriend" (he met her and the next day they were in a "serious" relationship), and he hits on every single girl. I should also point out that I find him very cute, but I know its never going to happen so whatever. But the days we were in the hotel, he kept joking around and acting very gay. Its not the first time Ive seen straight guys act gay just to joke around, but it really annoys me. Like we were al together in a restaurant or something, and he reached for my hand and took it, and then looked at me and smiled. He said like two times I lookd handsome and that he liked me very much. We were watching a movie and he told me to lay down beside him (this is one of the things I did not play along with cause while for him its a joke, its not for me) Obviously I played along with him, and actually enjoyed it in secret (having in mind it was for sure fake) But I wanted to ask you guys, is this behaviour normal? I mean do you know alot of straight guys that act like this? Why would he joke so much about it??
I know someone exactly like this and I don't get it either. This guy I know used to hold hands on his walk home from school with his male best friend. One time during an assembly he shoved his hands into my pants against my will. I like to say that he sexually molested me because he practically did. He told me and my best friend that he likes to kiss guys and he's a fierce advocate for LGBT rights, but then he says he isn't gay or bisexual--I don't buy it, but I'm willing to play along with whatever fantasy he's created for himself I guess. If he's gay he'll come out eventually and if he doesn't, just let him know where the line is. I was actually thinking about this exact same thing on my way home from school today. You should tell him it isn't a joke to you, even if you don't come out to him then at that moment, but maybe you should consider that too. It's actually kind of hurtful to have this sort of thing happen to you, at least I think it is.
this is from my prior experiences from dealing with other gay guys. if they like you and suspect that you're gay, they will throw passes, start to give off signs that they want you (act weird) and will test you to see if you're gay. the ones that i've ran into are extremely persistent as in as soon as they get a sense that you could possibly be gay, they're going to go after you. some of them will ask you if you're gay, some of them will pretty much wait for you to do something, etc. another thing too. i knew a guy 10 years ago that was exactly like the guy you described. he was a ladies man as well. he was seeing multiple girls. i befriended him because i thought he was cool but he was an asshole and it turned out that he wanted me more than a friend. it got to the point where he was sexually harrassing me, tell me how much he wanted to have sex with me and for the record, i never told him once that i was gay. i guess his gaydar went off somehow and he acted on that. funny how i was going through a serious internal struggle at the time in which i knew for sure that i was gay and i refused to accept it. 1. he's not straight and more than likely is gay if he was acting like that around you. i doubt he was joking. he was making a pass at you several times and was telling you "hello, i'm gay". 2. you didn't out yourself to anybody correct? if that's the case, his gaydar went off around you and he was trying to find out if you were gay yourself by testing you to see how you responded to him. you played along with him validated his suspicions so more than likely, he's going to get back up with you again. 3. if i was unsure of myself, i would have asked him if he was gay because i know that no guy could possibly be straight if he wanted me to lie besides him and watch a movie.
Well ... If every friend of mine who act gay, joking, is really gay, then my college is practically rainbowland. I've never looked into it that way, actually, thinking that it maybe would be a sign, or something, mostly because they do it with everyone else, not just me. And also some of the guys who do that have girlfriends, so ... But, yeah, bothers me, no doubt, cause I can't say it doesn't mean a little more than just a joke for me. And they do it, like, all the time, and in the more inconvenient hours, when it's more fun ¬¬
Yeah, I've known people who act gay and even had friend who did this sort of thing. But what's being described here is just massively closeted dudes edging their toes into homoland. In my life people who "act gay" limit themselves to clever and ironic statments or accidental/on-purpose self incrimination. The most extreme thing I've heard of was someone grabbing a friend's hand and saying "if only". This just sounds like thinly veiled passes and come-ons and disguised as heterosxual machismo.
