Okay, I am new to this and all that comes with it. I have been in love with a girl for 7-8 years. We played college ball together and the spark was there but of course we never acted on it. Well it took our last year of college to kiss and since then it has been love. She married, and I married we both have a family. Our husbands treated us like shit and coincedently(spelling) we left them both and currently going through divorces. We want to be with each other and we spend every weekend together and its magical and we are constantly on the phone not wanting to get off. We are wanting to move and start a life together with the kids and we are unsure of how to do so. For anyone in this situation I am needing advice on how we integrate our kids and live together. Its not a fling, and I am going to put a ring on this girls hand in a few months. The kids are all really close and so that is a comforting feeling that whenever she and I are together for the weekends, the kids are there as well. Advice please!! Ready to make this happen, I cant continue not waking up next to her every morning!!
It's good to hear that the kids are able to get along with each other. If you both feel so strongly about this and are very serious then there is no reason to not do what would make you happy, as you would both be divorced from your husbands. If you feel you both can make this work and it would be a good living environment for the kids then I say go for it and allow yourselves to be happy.
Gery and Mercy thanks so much for the advice i truly appreciate it. It is nice to have support, though we will get serious backlash once we make this decision I truly dont care what others think. As long as she and I as well as the kids are okay with it then that is all that matters. We have a time frame for the beginning of the year to start our lives together for sure
First of all, welcome to EC!!! (*hug*) With that said, I think you should go ahead & put that ring on her finger! It sounds like you've both fallen in love, both of your kids get along well & accept the situation & that there really isn't anything preventing you from being happy with her! So I guess the only thing left is really to plan your proposal! Eek! See what sort of romantic restaurants are in your area & maybe do a classic proposal down on one knee or where you order champagne & the waiter/waitress brings the ring in the bottom of one of the glasses, something she'll remember! Congrats! (&&&)
Kiersten thanks for the tips, I will totally remember them when the moment gets here. It's just a wonderful feeling and it's a insane feeling I swear!!
Hi there and welcome to EC. It sounds to me that you've already integrated your two families and things are going well. Do the kids recognize that the two of you are a couple? Or do they think you're just friends? Depending on the age the kids, I'm not sure it matters. My husband and I both have 2 kids from previous marriages. When they were introduced to each of us they were told that we were boyfriends - and they were find with that. They've taken the news that their dad's are gay in stride, and it hasn't really been an issue. They know that this isn't a secret that they need to keep, but they also know that they are entitled to their privacy, and they don't need to tell their friends that their dad's are gay either. I know my older daughter has told one of her friends that her dad is gay, but they haven't told the world about it. At the same time, my husband has come with me to school concerts and things like that (at the kids' request) so they're not horribly embarassed, and consider my husband to be a part of their family. I suppose it depends on where you live too. We're in the Toronto area, which is probably one of the more liberal parts of Canada, which is perhaps one of the more liberal countries in the world, so that makes us pretty lucky. But the reaction you'll get from friends, family and neighbours will depends perhaps on where you live. The only other thing that comes to mind is the separation process you're going through. Are you separation agreements final? Have you finalized on financial settlements, visitation and custody arrangements, etc? Will this come as a surprise to your respective ex husbands? Are they going to be supportive and encouraging? And if not, how is that going to impact your kids? Have you got any legal advice around this? So the two of you sound happy, and if mommy is happy, kids are generally happy. But if daddy's are miserable and angry, that isn't good for the kids - epsecially if the kids have regular visits with their dads. Counselling for the moms, the dads, and the kids might all be in order. But life is too short to not go ahead with this if that's what is going to make you happy. I'm happy that you've reconnected with each other and that you're excited about your future together - as you should be. That's awesome!
Wow, that sounds like quite a situation! But I'm very happy for you and your girlfriend and your kids and I wish you the best of luck during the divorce and getting together with your girlfriend. I'm afraid I can't give you any useful advice though because I've never been in a situation like that. But just remember to trust your heart and it will all turn out okay.
