So I'm really thinking I need to come out soon but the guilt is getting to me. I'm coming up on my one year anniversary with my girlfriend and it scares the shit out of me. I love her like crazy. She is my best friend and my partner in crime but I'm finding it really hard to keep up the charade. As hard as I try I can't get sexually interested. Whats worse is that she has a super high sex drive. I find myself making up excuses and avoiding situations where we may get busy. When we do have sex I'm constantly thinking about guys; closing my eyes and hoping she'll get off so we can stop. I feel guilty for several reasons: 1) I'm lying to her about who I am even though we are (supposed to be) best friends. 2) I'm misleading her into thinking we have a future together (marriage, kids) 3) I've wasted a year of her life on a relationship that can't go anywhere. Either I stay with her and keep up the lie or I come out and hurt her and potentially ruin our friendship and professional relationship permanently. In any case I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that has felt guilt about this or coming out in general. I'd love to hear from you. Share your stories. C.
Well I haven't been in your situation, however... In these cases I always suggest that the sooner you tell her, the better it'll be for both of you. As you've already touched on, the longer the lie is kept going, the more painful it'll be for her when she does find out, and the more difficult it'll become for you to cope with your feelings. There was a thread here about a week ago with someone in a similar situation: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/51275-questioning-long-term-straight-relationship.html In there Jim1454 has some excellent advice from personal experience which you should read.
i think if you wanted to out come out to her, you should be ready for the aftermath, e.g she could be spiteful and tell everyone else etc, so you should atleast be thinking of maybe telling more people about yourself? like the family if your not out already to them and friends. i believe if she really cared about you and were good friends things wont be as horrible as you put them out to be, people usually think of the worst case scenario which might not happen you know? just food for thought
