Well after a long and ridiculously awful last month and a half, I am single. It was officially over 2 weeks ago. So much for 4 happy years together. And where is my ex right now? With her new girlfriend. FML.
(*hug*) I've been burned by a couple of ex-gf's too, & it never felt great seeing them with someone new. I know it may not help much or anything, but try to look at this not as the end of something but as the beginning of a new time in your life! It always darkest before the light & all of that power of positive thinking stuff! Like I said, I know it doesn't help much now, but it will get a little easier one day, I promise... (*hug*)
Breaking up is lame. Particularly when you know that you still want to be with the person and that they're just doing it to make you miserable.
I know you probably don't want to hear me say it, but if she's just doing it to make you miserable, do you really want to be with someone who has such little respect for your feelings? I know you still love her, so I don't want nor will I badmouth her out of respect for you, but I also don't want you to undervalue your own feelings either. Hang in there & I agree with you, breaking up is totally, suck-ass lame...
That is what people keep telling me That she doesn't respect me and isn't worth it. It's just hard to see because of all the good we had.
Breaking up always hurts. I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out for you but keep your head high. There are plenty more people out there and definitely someone for you.
This isn't uncommon. When my boyfriend broke up with me, it only took him three weeks to find someone new. To add insult to injury he's been (or was, they may have broken up by now*) with his new boyfriend much longer than he was with me. So what did I do? I fell apart. Completely and utterly. I told hardly any people what had happened, internalized the failure of the relationship as my failing as a person, let my already existing depression slip deeper and still didn't ask for help until I was suicidal, analyzed every detail of everything we'd done together in an effort to work out what I'd done wrong. Don't do that. Talk to people. Bitch about it to your friends (but don't overdo it or they'll get sick of it), ask family members how they endured breakups, share stories about horrible breakups, post on EC about your feelings. Be creative. Express yourself. Write bad poetry, dance, sing, act, paint. Whatever form of art grabs you, do it. It doesn't have to be about her, but it can be. The point is to immerse yourself in something you love. Exercise. If you're into any sports, play them, especially team sports (gets you socializing). Get the endorphins flowing. Get fresh air every day. Allow yourself to feel loss. Don't repress your emotions. It's okay to cry, it's okay to scream at the world, it's okay to hate her, it's okay to keep on loving her. Anything you feel is okay, you have permission to feel however you feel about her. Let it go. Don't analyze what happened, don't try to work out exactly why your relationship ended. Accept that it did, and move on. Don't dwell in the past. This isn't applicable immediately after, when you're still early in the grieving process, but as time passes it becomes more and more important. Feel free to PM me if you want more help from me (or more stories about the dumb stuff I did after I was dumped). *And the fact that I don't care is a major milestone
First, (*hug*) (*hug*) Ok, you you just break up 2 weeks ago after 4 years in this relationship. That is completely normal and ok for you to be sad and angry right now. You're completely entitled to be. You can't just brush aways 4 years of your life and recovering from a breakup (that I suppose you didn't initiate) in just 2 weeks. Recovering from a heartbreak takes time. And yes, for now it is dreadfully painful, but it will get better. Getting over a heartbreak is just like healing a wound... At the beginning it is awfully painful and uncomfortable. Every thing you do reminds you of it. But slowly, it's healing. So slowly that you won't even notice it at first, but it's still healing. Now there are a few things you can do to help yourself to get better (I don't say to get rid of the pain in 2 days, I say to get better) : Be kind with yourself : accept that you're vulnerable at the moment and that you're feeling sad. Allow yourself to cry because there is no shame in crying. Get some support : that's what friends an families are for. They can't make the pain go away, but they can take care of you and make things easier. Crying is good already but crying on someone's shoulder is even better. Don't blame yourself, and try not to blame your ex either for what's happening. Being in a love relationship always includes the risk for it to end at some point. That's nobody's fault, but sometimes, love doesn't last forever. As long as you'll try to find reasons and someone to blame for this, you won't be able to let it go and move on. I know your breakup it's still very recent, and I totally understand that you want explanations and someone to blame for the pain you're feeling, but please, when you're getting angry and try to recall every moment that went wrong and what you or you ex could have done different... just take a deep breathe, close your eyes and let it go. Because it's useless and will only make you feel worse. Last but not least, time is your best ally. What you need is allow yourself time to grieve and recover. I know it's not that much comforting, because you're hurting and the idea that it's going to take time before the pain will go away isn't that great, but it will go away. Yes for now it hurts, but it's not going to hurt endlessly like this, that's what you should try to keep in mind. Take care of yourself and hold on. Many (*hug*) Cécile
aw Queerios things will look up eventually, just remember that your the prize, and never a second option, its either you or nothing, you will find someone better!!
