So during dinnner last night my step mom brought up the topic about gay marriage, to my dad, she was talking about a friend of hers who has a lesbian couple as her neighbours, and she was very blunt to them about getting married, an it being a sacred bond between man and a woman, and my step mom agreed with this, even though she has gay friends. She was saying how she rspects them as people and bla bla, but that by getting married and having gay marriage rallies is them (gay people in general) trying to be like hetrosexual couples, but they will always be different. Like how stupid the rallies are because being gay isnt "normal" according to her, and that you dont see hetrosexual couples having marriage rallies. she was saying how gay people shouldnt have the same rights as "normal" couples. Im not out to my parents, my younger sister (8 yrs old) knows im gay, and she kinda just looked at me during the talk and could see i was feeling awkward,but i couldnt voice my opinion without risking it, so i excused myself making up that i was feeling under the weather. It just made me so angry, and i was thinking of coming out to my parents soon, but not now, especially with hearing my stepmoms opinions. i know my dad couldnt care less, he was just like let them get on wth their own business. but i dont know what to do, i only have one person in my family who knows who i really am, and a few friends, but i feel so trapped... what are your thoughts and opinions?
Sorry you had to sit through that. Its sucks not being able to say crap (*hug*) Most people that are against gays, gay marriage or anything of that sort are mostly against it because they simply don't know better. Gay friends or people they know are THEM who they only see from far away. Once you come out and start braking all of their stereotypes then things usually always change. Granted its not an easy process, but its also not an impossible one. My parents used to make the same and worse comments, but they also came around after (3 months after) I came out. Now they are 100% with me and they support me no matter what. That being said, my dad is still not okay with gay people adopting. Even worse, my dad is against sex before marriage even though marriage is still not legal for gay couples. So he expects all gay people to wait till then xD Either way, my point is that while parents might not be 100% okay with EVERYTHING about community, they will always be 100% okay with their kids. Give them a chance
Well, two things. First, you said that your Dad couldn't care less. He's definitely not going to be one to care a whole lot when you choose to come out to him, which is a HUGELY AWESOME thing to come out of this less-than-perfect scenario. Congrats on having a great Dad! Second, there's plenty of hope for your Mom. Here's why: She was talking about a friend's neighbors (in other words, she has no ties at all to the community), she respects them as people, and she recognizes that non-LGBT people don't have rallies. When you come out to her, she immediately will have a link to the community of people that she professes to believe aren't normal, but you're her daughter (well, step-daughter, but close enough), which means that she has to rethink what she thinks on the issue. She respects our community as individuals, which means having a face and name of a close family member adds more respect to the community. Finally, because she recognizes how much we're protesting and rallying, she's subconsciously realizing that there's a fundamental disconnect in the rights, and I don't think she'll honestly be able to look at you and say "I don't believe you deserve the same rights as I do," once she looks at how much of a gap there is in marriage rights. In short, don't feel so trapped. You have your friends who accept you, and your sister loves you still for who you are. Your father will certainly love you, and your step-mom sounds exactly like several people who were homophobic before realizing that someone they loved is in the LGBT community. (This is only my opinion of course, but I think it's pretty accurate)
i agree wwith Raeil and your parents were justing talking in the spir of the moment also, if they knew you were a lesbian things would have been much more different
This isn't really advice from me, just a response. I am a totally sarcastic ass. So I would have joined in the conversation as though I agreed, but kept saying how "interracial marriage" is wrong and different instead of saying "gay marriage." And say how marriage is a special bond between a man and a woman of the same race.
thanks for all the support guys, means alot hopefully one day il have the guts to come out of this closet
