Is My Orientation broken ??? “Orientation confusion” Its not that I have a problem with labels its literally I don’t know weather I like men or women. Mean people are always talking how your ‘born that way” so how can some one not know … you know ?? I’ve never really been the type to look at some on and be physically attracted to them… though I do find women more appealing (I‘m a girl) . I’ve only had a few people that I felt very strongly about in the romantic since and the gender was/is pretty evenly mixed …… I’m 21 and have only every had one ( witch was recently) sexual experience ( with a dude & not all the way) , and though it wasn’t horrible it didn’t feel right……. However….even though I find my self more drawn to women ( whom I fantasies about and feel more emotional connect to)…… there is this one guy that I’ve known since the third grade, who is still my best friend and goes to school with me , that I love, witch is odd….. I don’t look at him and think “ I want to do him” however he gives me butterflies in the cheesy since and if given the opportunity I be with him ( witch would never happen ) …. But the first person I ever had a crush on was a girl ! ….. So what does all this mean ??? Its just frustrating because the majority of my friends are gay and they all have known for ever and are so sure about them selfs …. I feel like what ever makes me like people is broken or something ....:help:
Well there are a few factors to take into consideration. One is, it often takes a while for people to figure out their sexuality. I'm 21, I have a boy friend, and I still don't fully understand if I'm more likely bi or gay. There's nothing wrong with that, its natural. Also, sexuality is a lot more fluid than people usually believe. Many bisexuals claim to feel like they are attracted to guys one day and girls another. From your self-description it sounds to me like you could be pansexual. If you are not familiar with the term its basically someone who doesn't see gender as important. You love someone for who they are and gender is kind of unimportant. Granted, I myself do not identify as pansexual and this definition could be off, but that's at least my understanding of it. Regardless, there is no reason you should feel a need to rush. I know it sounds cheesy, and I hate when people tell me this, but a label isn't really important. Just let life take you where you want it to, and if you find someone that you think you could be happy with then at least give it a try =)
I think we should not base our orientation on our sexual encounters(I didn't have any experiences yet so this just an opinion). Sex may or may be pleasurable depending on the right person. I mean if I liked having sex with a girl doesn't mean I'm bisexual now. I mean if you have a sexual encounter to a person you're connected to, I'm sure you'll like it but if it's just a person with little or no connection at all then you'll feel nothing. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe you should divert your reason for what is your orientation to something else rather than sex since it will mislead you if you usually based it on that. Again this is just an opinion.:icon_bigg
Re: Is My Orientation broken ??? I totally understand how it sometimes feels like everybody has it figured out from the start or suddenly just knows. But you aren't the only person to feel like you do, if you're "broken" then myself a lot of others are on the junk heap too. Sexual orientation is much more complicated than do I like men or women? Gender's a large spectrum and not binary. Equally like you've described there's different types of attraction, physical, sexual, emotional. Add in to that you may be attracted to certain body types/personalities etc then it can all get pretty confusing to think about. So in many aspects it's best not to over-analyze yourself, but I realize this is easier said than done. I don't have much advice to offer but I live in hope that one day I'll a) either magically figure it all out or b) stop giving a hoot. So in the meantime, go with the flow, allow yourself to feel things, embrace sexual experiences-but don't rely on them to define your orientation. And most importantly realize that sometimes human beings are more complex than labels
