Sooooo I met some one and we are at the very early stages of a relationship however there is a bit of an age gap witch makes me hesitant to proceed …I’m 21 she’s 30 ? I’m also not out and have never been in a serious our same sex relationship…….. Advice ?? :bang:
9 years is a pretty significant age gap. It doesn't mean that it can't work, but you might encounter more challenges than the average couple. Many of the common problems that can come up can have to do with the two people being at different stages in life - for example, she may be more inclined to be thinking sooner about commitment, children, buying houses, that kind of thing. And there may be differences in the way you view certain issues or choose to deal with certain problems, due to your differing levels of maturity and experience. It may be particularly concerning that you have never been in a serious relationship - there is a higher potential there for an imbalanced power dynamic between the two of you. Ultimately, though, every relationship is different, and whether it works or not will boil down to how compatible you are on various different levels, age and maturity being only one of these. Now, trying to date someone while still in the closet is a whole different can of worms with its own set of difficulties... again, it's not impossible to make it work, but it can take quite a toll on the relationship. I would say, given the set of circumstances you describe, it's probably a good idea to try to put the brakes on and take things very, very slowly and cautiously.
It all depends on the individuals and how much you guys have in common and how your personalities are. There are huge age gaps sometimes in relationships and they work out fine and other times don't. Also being closeted makes things a lot harder. In the end, only you can decide whether or not to go through with something like this but just because there is a 9 year age difference does not mean that it couldn't work.
For a first same-sex relationship, you're gonna want to have eveything else going for you, so that you're more comfortable figuring things out. So if you are PERFECTLY FINE with it, and you're just kinda iffy about what taboo it has ect, then it's definetly worth a try. However, if you feel like maybe it's kinda strange, or that you're prefer someone that is closer in age, [which I'm sure you must, at least a tiny bit, if it even popped up in your head], then stick to what you are REALLY comfortable with. I hope everything goes swimmingly!! Much love.
