I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and I'm kind of at a strange period of my life, so figure I will write it out and hopefully get some advice. I came out when I was 22, and the last few years I've been through some difficult times, some messy relationships. When I first came out, I got counselling and really pushed myself to be social.. I did all the stereotypical things.. the one night stands, the clubs, the social life.. I traveled a lot, but at the end of the journey I feel like yes, that was all good and well.. but its not me. I really want to meet someone worthwhile.. I'm introverted at heart and prefer the quieter sides of life. I have some very close gay friends which keep me on good ground which I am thankful for, but I just feel very astranged from gay life sometimes. I don't believe that searching for the right guy will miraculously turn him up, but at the same time I do need to make an effort.. The shine seems to wear off everything in life at the moment. I'm unemployed, but am going back to uni next year for a second degree (the 1st I lost interest in).. So all these lifestyle factors have kind of turned me into a bit of a recluse. I'm back at home with my mum even.. :icon_redf. I spend most of my time reading or computering and not much else.. I try and get out of the house, but some days its a struggle. So on the one hand, Uni nxt year will be a great opportunity to meet new people and keep my mind occupied (I hope), but on the other, I have 4.5 months to burn. I just don't know what to do with myself some days..I'm not happy with my drinking levels either..:rolle: Just seems like I'm trapped in this spiral and there's no joy to be found. I can feel great one day and just flat as a tac the next. Sometimes I have to almost slap myself to get a grip.. I'm not old or ready to pack it in, yet.. but some days I just feel like an old shoe that doesn't know where it's going... Any advice to pick this up would be appreciated. :tears:
awwww...man i gotcha.....seems like ur a nice gay guy...and that is rare...look..man...its not ur fault....things just happen....i am pretty sure though that as long as u believe that everything is ganna be alright....everything will =)
I'm no doctor, not by any means, but what you have described, and the syptoms you've mentioned all point to depression. I suffer from depression myself, and I definetly know it when I see it. I think it could really be beneficial for you to see a doctor and talk to him or her about the possiblity of depression treatments, so that you can recieve any information you would like. A doctor-perscribed medicine could be exactly what you need to feel happy and healthy again. Of course, there is the possiblilty that this is not the answer, and if that is the case, you might want to try getting part-time job to pass the next four months. There's nothing wrong with having some extra money in your pocket, eh? I would suggest something along the lines of library worker, doing stock at a grocery store, anything nice and quiet that would be comfortable for you. Give some thought to this, I think it can really help. I know you'll do great in anything you end up doing! Much love!!
Yes I know I am depressed.. and I've tried the medication.. I really don't want to be medicated..they never agree with me. Working at a library would be awesome.. I guess I'll try that avenue. ^^..Katt I need some of your positivity... *sigh*. Food for thought.. Its just mustering that energy to get out, ya know.. which I guess is depression.. which needs treatment.. Its a shit spiral im tellin yaa!
I understand that there might be taboo in relation to being medicated for social disorders such as chronic ainxiety, depression, ect. But there really is no need for the outside judgement. Not everyone has depression like you and I do, so not everyone understands what it can do to a person. If your opinion about being medicated is related to any bias judgement, I strongly encourage that you re-examine it. I knew I had depression ever since I was seven years old, but never spoke up until I was 15. You have the opportunity to prevent years of the heavy, suffocting, black cloud they call depression. If your dislike of being medicated is related to something else, of course I still urge you to look into it for the sake of your health, but it is ultimately your decision to make. Depression certianly can suck the energy out of someone, that's for certian. But the "shit spiral" surely will cease, if ceased to be fed ;] Meaning I want you to have fun, you can beat thing. I know you can. Bond with your mother, play a round of golf, go swimming! Anything to put a smile on that pretty little face. :] Take care of yourself sweetie! Much Love,
Well you could try seeing a psychologist. They won't try to prescribe you medicines (they aren't licensed to do so), and they can help you look at things more positively and rid your head of whatever thoughts are making you depressed. Some things that can help with depression are the general things that help with your "well-being": Eating right, exercising. I think the idea of looking for a part time job is a great idea. You do not have to only go to quiet jobs by yourself. Holding a job where you need to interact with people may help your social skills. Just because you are an introvert doesn't mean you can't hone your social skills and get some practice in. It will be needed in life.
Naww.. thanks for the advice guys. Austin - yeah I *must* start getting out more.. I really do try to get out at least once a day. Im hoping all this is temporal and I can snap out of it. My mums getting a new dog soon, so I will have that added responsibility, more reason to go outside etc. A job would be great.. its just hard getting towards the end of the year, but I will keep my eyes pealed.. You hit the nail on the head there.. its not so much about having a job being important, its the interaction, having something to keep my mind off my own thought processes!! Its great to have people to listen, as sometimes just getting it out can help, and it has here =). The irony is that Im studying to be a psychologist next year.. ha! I used to get counseling and it did help, but I just find it difficult to branch out for that right now.. I know if I gotta make a change, I have to do it on my own first and foremost if that makes sense. Thanks for the good vibes and support
