Hello I am new to this website, and I just came "out" in a sense by leaving hints on which my family is finally acting on. everything is better then I though except for my mother who before I came out was all for gay and Bi rights but has taken a turn for the worse, like she became a different person. Not only does she snap at me over the simplest things but shes making vulgar, obscene and rude comment about gays, take this for example I was unloading food and she made a very very vulgar comment that if posted might get me removed from this site when I asked where she wanted the fruit. Anyone know I feel?
I completely understand how you feel right now. I'm sorta almost completely out as a lesbian to my mother now, but we haven't actually had the "official, mom I'm really gay" conversation yet. But obviously, my mom has a pretty good idea that I'm not straight, lol. Anyway, before I told her I was seriously questioning my sexuality, she didn't seem to have any problems with gay people, and for the record, her own brother(my uncle) is gay, and is very tolerant of him. The second anything comes up now related sexuality, or anything that relates back to me being a lesbian, she always has a snarky comment to make. For example, I was watching the show Pretty Little Liars the other day, and there is a lesbian couple in that show. She sat down and started watching it with me right when they were kissing. Then she started making nasty comments about how disgusting that was and if that's really what I wanted to be doing. So, in a nutshell, I really don't have any advice for ya other than to just give time. That's what I'm trying, at least.
I know how you feel hey, except it was before i came out yesterday, My dad always had a remark for the gay characters, calling the boys little fairies and "moffies" which is the Afrikaans version of "fag"(Am i allowed to say that here?) and the girls. well, I cant say on the internet hes stopped now anyways. Anyways, look don't worry to much about these remarks your mom makes, its her way of dealing with or denying that u are this way, and once she sees you are gay for sure and aren't like the drag queens you see on TV, she will probably stop, if she doesn't then she needs a little more convincing
thanks, it's nice to know i'm not alone. most gays here are like me and very scared and we don't have many where I live (small town)
Well, anger is a pretty common phase in parents getting to grips with the idea that their child is gay. And unfortunately, being generally accepting of gay rights doesn't make the shock of finding out your child is gay any easier. My mom seems to be solidly stuck in denial. Which isn't as confronting as anger, but it is always a small stab through my heart whenever the topic of me being gay comes up (even tangentially), and she then just makes random changes to the conversation topic, or in extreme cases just flat-out starts to ignore me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to have deep conversations with her about my gayness, but it would help if even just mentioning it wasn't such a minefield... On the bright side, all of these odd reactions really are the reactions of a mind that is trying to integrate new information. All you can do for now is stay cool, and act as if being gay is no big deal. Over time most parents do come around!
thanks, this is a wonderful forum I hope she will come around to it, but i've horror stories of parents beating and kicking there children "that they love" because they were gay
