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Only recently owned up to myself - wondering on next steps for meeting people

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by aportnoy, Oct 2, 2011.

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  1. aportnoy

    aportnoy
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I only recently (after a long time) admitted to myself that I am gay. I'd spent years denying, entering relationships with girls and gradually pushing them away, and later on telling myself "I'm just bi, I can still do the whole wife/kids thing". It never worked.

    Now that I've finally owned up to myself on this, I feel wonderful and terrible in equal measure. Wonderful because I feel like I've let go of a millstone round my neck, and that it's finally ok to be who I really am. Terrible because I look back on the time I've wasted, and the sheer futility of trying to live a stright life for so long.

    My problem now is that I'm 24, and well past the age where time and opportunities to meet new folks are plentiful. The only gay friend I really have is in another continent right now.

    Where the heck do I start? I don't know whether to go online, or find a group or something. I can't see myself just rocking up alone to a gay club - not yet, anyway.

    It'd also be good to hear from any others who came out late, and how you dealt with it.
     
    #1 aportnoy, Oct 2, 2011
  2. J Snow

    J Snow
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    well I came out at 20 (which felt late to me) there are likely gay organizations you could get involved with. I've never been, but I know someone around here that goes to "gay game night" at his church. If you have told any friends perhaps some would feel comfortable with going to a gay bar with you. I think a lot of girls would have no problem going into a gay bar with you.
     
    #2 J Snow, Oct 2, 2011
  3. Bosco

    Bosco
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    For the LGBT organizations both on campus and around the city, the definition of youth is under 30 so you're still well within the range.

    There are plenty of people who are in their mid twenties who regularly attend (if not run) our events and gatherings and their age really doesn't make a difference. : )
     
    #3 Bosco, Oct 2, 2011
  4. Lexington

    Lexington
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Welcome to EC!

    It'll depend on what kind of area you live in. The larger the city, the more opportunities you'll have. If your city is large enough to have a gay weekly newspaper (most do), pick one up and read through it. Or you might try Googling "gay (your city)". You might even try narrowing the search. "gay (city) volleyball" or "gay (city) biking" or any other activity you might be interested in. I'd steer clear of bars, dating and/or hook-up sites unless that's actually what you're interested in. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #4 Lexington, Oct 2, 2011
  5. Jim1454

    Jim1454
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    I know that this is how you feel, but you haven't 'wasted' any time at all. You needed those life experiences to get you to where you are now. Besides, there's nothing you can do about the past, so there's no point in regretting it.

    I didn't come to realize I was gay and accept it until I was another 10 years older than you. And at that point I had to unravel a marriage with a house, a dog and 2 kids. Yet I still ended up meeting people, and this past summer I got married to the most wonderful guy. So there is definitely 'gay life' after 24 my friend. Don't sweat it.
     
    #5 Jim1454, Oct 4, 2011
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