can gay/lesbien relationships last?

I mean, I don't know many older couples, but research shows that any significant differences between relationships lasting longer between heterosexual couples is largely a stereotype. In fact, what little difference there may be would like be a self-fulfilling prophecy effect from such stereotypes.

 

Hello Noah27!

What you're experiencing is no different from what straight people go through all the time [particularly the younger ones], which is that you haven't found out what you're really looking for in a partner yet.
When one hasn't quite had enough experience to know what they want, it's much harder to start a relationship that can actually work. It's easy to think that every boyfriend/girlfriend is going to be the love of your life, but we've got to be more sensible than that. :] There's a big difference between love, and infatuation. I warn you, it takes a very long time to tell the difference.

I know, the heart wants what the heart wants, I understand that completely :] But sometimes the heart can't see past it's own nose, so it can't tell when it's going to hurt very badly because of the decisions it makes.
Love is a tricky thing. And it only works if you're ready. My advice to you is to try and give your love life a rest for a bit. It will give you time to get to know yourself, and what you really want in life. Knowing these things is essential to knowing where to find a meaningful relationship.
I hope this helps! Much love,

 

Fourteen years and counting.

Lex

 

I'll just leave this here: Gay civil partners ‘less likely to split up than straight married couples’ - PinkNews.co.uk

 

They can last, but relationships entered into when people are young are less likely to last than when they're older. There are several reasons for this. The biggest is that younger people don't have the maturity or stability to carry on a long-term relationship. Maturity-wise we don't have the experience with hard times and difficult situations that older people do. We haven't practiced relationships as much as older people. Likewise, because we lack maturity, what we look for in a partner changes and develops more than it does for older people.

Stability is also a factor. I'm planning on leaving the country in a few years, many people my age are joining the military, or moving from state to state as they look for jobs or schools. We also lack economic security (which appears to be becoming a thing of the past in any case). Location and finance are significant factors in relationships; the first because long-distance relationships generally take more work than in-person relationships, the second because scarcity of resources creates emotional and practical burdens (I believe finances are the number-one thing married couples fight over).

Now, here's the catch for gay (and bi) men*. Our culture, and even moreso the media's depiction of our culture, is youth-centered. There's a common belief that no one will date a man over thirty--or even twenty five! (this is untrue, but it's widely believed). As such, the relationships we see and notice tend to be relationships between younger people which, for the reasons stated above, tend not to last.

*I can't speak for the lesbian and bi women community and culture, I don't know enough about them.

 

To back up Liam a bit more, according to my Social Psychology class I took last year, a couple that gets married at 20 is 10x more likely to get divorced then one at 30, and one at age 30 is likewise 10x more likely to get divorced then one at age 40. Of course correlation doesn't mean causation. There are likely many factors, like that you simply won't live as long and have enough time to get divorced, many times people are already in their second marriage at that age and its not really their age or maturity, but just experience from know why their last marriage didn't work.

Its still a very strong statistic though. It should also be noted that contrary to what the public may tell you, opposites MAY attract, but they are much less likely to stay together So being the same gender that must give you an even greater advantage. Perhaps that's the reason why it seems according to Rediculous gay civil partners are less likely to split up (which I have actually heard in the past as well)

 

As someone who just got married at the age of 40, you just made my day!!!

I met my boyfriend when I was 37 and we've been together ever since. Over 3 years, and given we just got married this August, we're both committed to making this work for the long haul.

I think when you're young you're more likely to meet people who aren't really a good match for you. As you get older you're more able to see up front whether a person is someone you can see yourself spending time with or not. My husband and I share a similar sense of humour, a similar level of intellect, similar professional goals (although our jobs are very different), etc.

 

I've been with my boyfriend for three 1/2 years. And statistically, gay couples in a civil union stay together for longer than married straight couples. Well, more likely to make it past the first five years.
Study: Gay civil unions may last longer - UPI.com

 

I always wondered if the (seemingly) high incidences of breakups amongst gay couples is simply the fact that they haven't been allowed to get married, or it's not as common. I feel like when a heterosexual couple gets married, they have that extra thing holding them together forcing them to work it out. Or they have children. It doesn't always work, and lots of heterosexual couples split up. But I always wondered if having the two extra hinges of children and legal marriage helps keep some people together who may have split up had they not had that.

And I also think it's a double standard - people just don't see enough examples of long term gay couples. Therefore it's not the first thing that comes to mind when they think of gay couples. Instead, it seems that breakups are the norm, and therefore the first thing that jumps to mind is "well, that's what happens to all gay couples."

I don't know if I explained myself very well there. Just my .02 cents.

 

Like many people have said already, of course they can!

Here is two of my favorite examples:

Phyllis Lyon andDel MartIn. They were together since 1953 and a ridcs power couple



Army Sgt. Bob Claunch and Lt. Jack Reavley. Fell in love in 1951 There is also a documentary soley about their relationship. I haven't been able to see it, but I've heard its really cute. Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure



Keep in mind both of these relationships were started back when being gay was illegal and they had to face many, many obstacles simply to be together. The amount of stable couples that have been together for a long time has been growing ever since