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Bad influence on lil sis?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DJNay, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. DJNay

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    ok so i came out to my lil sister (shes 8yr old) because we have such a close relationship and i trust her with my life ( im still in the closet tothe rest of my family), i had to tell someone, it was killing me, someone i could talk to at home and seeing as my older bro has moved out and lives like an hour away and my twin sister i hardly speak to because i live in another country. So you get the jist of my situation, but now im worried that im a bad influence on my lil sister, and that she might assume shes gay or watever because she looks up to me. To put it in perspective, she'll watch a tv show or a cartoon and go on about how pretty the female characters are, and make a point of it. Its just really bothering me. Any comments/ suggestions? should i have just kept my mouth shut?
     
  2. Tiny Catastrophe

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    You really can't influence someone to be gay or straight. People like who they like and that's how it is. I think she still may be too young to realize her sexuality (and yes I know some people realize it at a young age). Even if it does turn out that when she's older she's gay or bi it wouldn't be your fault just because you came out to her. Don't worry about it too much. You're not a bad influence on her at all.
     
  3. DJNay

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    ah ok, thanks hey, i appreciate it :slight_smile:
     
  4. Tiny Catastrophe

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    Np happy to help :slight_smile:
     
  5. J Snow

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    Like TC said, those kind of things don't influence someone's sexuality. There is no evidence that children who grow up with gay parents are any more likely to be homosexual.

    Even so, if she did decide she was gay, is that really a bad thing?
     
  6. Katt

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    Hello!

    It's excellent that you're told someone, it takes a lot of pressure off. But because of your sisters' young age, she probably can't quite comprehend what you're telling her just yet. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. It just means she can't fully understand what any of it means until she hits puberty, most likely. I would suggest maybe a school counselor or therapist to talk to, someone who is able to understand [:

    For the time being, though, pay attention to your sexual feelings, it's important to figure yourself out so that you can become nice and comfortable with yourself. And you are absolutely NOT a bad influence on your little sister for this. Being of homosexual; orientation is not a bad thing, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

    I wish you the best of luck!
     
  7. J Snow

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    I want to add to what I originally posted. I think it could be a good thing you told your sister young. She will have a positive gay role model before she is exposed to the hate.

    I wanted to tell my little sister (16, though I do have a 7 year old one as well) but I told my mom first and my mom pretty much forbid me from telling her (even though I'm 21 and she's 16...) Still, wish I had just told my sister first. Now I'm just all sorts of conflicted.
     
  8. missyjustice

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    in my opinion you have nothing to worry about. i don't think you can influence someone's sexuality. sure you can make them curious but at her age it won't amount to much of anything. i think it's good that she knows at a young age that you can be attracted to different genders/sexes. i'd be more concerned with her telling because she's young to be holding in such a big secret but i think it's awesome that you two are close enough that you felt comfortable telling her.
     
  9. Jim1454

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    I don't think it's a problem that you told your sister that you're gay. I don't think that will necessarily influence her own orientation.

    What bothers me is that you've told her and she needs to keep it a secret. What does that tell her about being gay? She's going to be confused - is being gay a good thing or a bad thing? It seems like it's a bad thing if I'm not allowed to tell mom and dad about it...

    I'm also concerned that the only person you felt you could rely on was an 8 year old. I think it's important that you have someone your own age or older to confide in. A counsellor or friend or relative. This shouldn't be a role for your 8 year old sister.
     
  10. MyDecember

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    The sign of a good role model is always questioning and being aware of projecting a good image on a little one no matter how insignificant the subject in question is.
     
  11. DJNay

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    @Jon Snow: Thanks for putting in perspective about homosexual parents and their kids, i didnt think of that. and to add to ur other comment, wow that sucks about ur mom, i know if my stepmom/dad found out that i told my lil sis, they would be very upset, and would probably forbidden me if i had told them first.
    @Jim: i have a lil brother as well (6yrs old), i havent told him because of it confusing him, he already has this negativity towards the idea of same sex relationships, even though he doesnt fully understand it. which is purely because of my parents, i get that they would want to "shelter" their kids at this age by saying that "gay" means happy and not "two boys/or two girls being together" as my lil brother told my parents he had heard someone say. I dont now how my parents would feel about me being gay, but they do have a negative view on homosexuality, for example my mom refers to gay people as "confused" and my dad says "eeww" and turns up his nose if a gay scene/situation comes up on tv, and my stepmom is the same. its ironic though because both my dad and stepmom have gay friends.
    i get that its huge for an 8 yr old to deal with this and keep it quiet, but she understands that my parents are against it, even though ive explained to her that there is nothing wrong/bad about it, just some people have a different view point. i do have other friends that know im gay, i just felt the urge to tell someone close to me in my family. i tried to tell my older brother, in a hypothetical way, and he shut me down almost instantly saying that its nothing to worry about because im not gay, but that if i was he would still love (because hes my brother), it would really be weird and hard for him seeing me with girl. With regards to telling my twin sister,she is a very strong christian, compared to anyone els in my family and although im christian too, im much more "open-minded" than she is, and she'll say "its wrong"