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Roommate trouble

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Cynicite, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. Cynicite

    Regular Member

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    Hello, I'm In Delaware
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So I'm a freshman living on campus at college. I have two roommates, one I'm cool with and the other I'm very pissed off at. Before we even moved in, we had a lot of shared interests but completely different ideologies. He's very pretentious, belittling, and judgmental. I let him know when he says or does something I find rude or intolerable, which resolves with him waiting a few days before doing or saying it again. I've called him out on some major things, like masturbating in the middle of the night in the same room as me and my other roommate (Which ended up backfiring on me since he told everyone he knew that I was having wet dreams of him). And now I'm one more issue away from snapping on him. I can even see what the next issue will be, since he has set himself to hate one of my friends vehemently for no apparent reason. I don't know how to handle living with him for one more day, let alone the rest of the school year. I talked with my floor's RA and my student adviser about changing dorms, but both of them told me it was too late in the year for that. Any help on dealing with him? I feel like I'm at the end of my rope here.
     
  2. ukeye

    ukeye Guest

    ugh the roommate thing..

    Look, your always going to have noisy neighbours in life.. somewhere in your life. So I suggest you stick to the old policy.. keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

    Tell him nothing, don't be his friend.. if he asks about your personal life cut him off. Learn how to say no to him, and continually ignore his bantering for attention. Eventually it will sort it self out.. ppl like this just want attention is all. His hate for your friend is this case in point.

    Tell your friend that you don't like him and to ignore him.. and when your friends around have a jolly old time, laugh, be over the top happy.(!). The key is to not let him phase you :dry:. Eventually, if you employ all these strategies, he will start to think he has pissed you off and when he confronts him just say 'We live in the same room, You are not my cup of tea so you do your thing, I'll do mine'..He'll get the idea sooner or later, that hes an idiot...or maybe never.. doesnt matter, u just keep being awesome :thumbsup:
     
  3. sanguine

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    i agree with ukeye, what i would do is let him know i despise him and ignore him

    and who knows, just like the bully everyone stood up to, hes gonna do something that's way out of place for him to be shunned.
     
  4. Raeil

    Full Member

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    Bypass all of them, and go straight to your Residence Life Department. Tell them you have a roommate who has no respect for boundaries, is making you horribly uncomfortable and disrespecting you, and would like to either have him move out or would like to move out yourself if possible. If you go to a school that respects it's students, you'll probably be asked to attempt mediation with a member of the ResLife board, and if that doesn't work they will move one of you as quickly as possible. Anyone who says "It's too late in the semester to change dorms" is completely wrong unless the school's policies are horrible.

    Until you get the chance to move/have him move, stay away from him as much as you can and simply ignore him no matter what. Obviously, if he tries to apologize, you might consider giving him a chance, but it doesn't seem like he's going to. Good luck. Getting bad roommates suck, but it's not the end of the world. There will always be people like your roommate, and at least right now you can take care of it relatively easily.
     
  5. Cynicite

    Regular Member

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    Thanks to everyone who posted. Ignoring him is the strategy I've adopted now, and I guess it needs more time to get through to him. My friend already knows where I stand, and I'd imagine he stands somewhere close since my roommate told him "Hey, this is nothing personal, but I hate you." I'll have to track down my/a Residence Life person and let them know, though my worse fear is that they might suggest giving me my security deposit back and suggesting I find somewhere nearby to live :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: