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How good of an idea is it to tell my dad this summer?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by tired_of_lying411, May 8, 2006.

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  1. tired_of_lying411

    tired_of_lying411
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    So, how good of an idea is it to tell my dad this summer?
    My mom knows, as well as my best friend, and I really want to tell another really close friend soon as well (she'll be fine with it BTW)

    But my dad is the question mark. Im just not sure how he'll react and neither is my mom. As I mentioned earlier, he used to be like "look at those fags on TV" everytime the decorating shows were on... there's less of that now.
    I know my mom didnt tell him, I trust her, she knows this is mine to tell.
    I wonder if he just assumes, or if its a coincidence or what.

    On the off chance that anything were to happen, it could be messy, being at home 24/7. But I doubt that my mom would let that happen, or that he would react bad.

    I guess I'm just scared of the possibility. But really, I'm more scared of another summer slipping by without telling him. I just want to be that little bit more free. (not to turn into a flaming queen, just to be myself)

    I just feel that this is the time...

    And is it a good idea to tell my close friends and then get it spread around the rest of the school just before summer break, so they have time to get over it?? like start a rumor or something...

    any thoughts ( I know I didnt give you much to go on, sorry)
     
    #1 tired_of_lying411, May 8, 2006
  2. tinkergeek

    tinkergeek Guest

    Wow, we seem to be in a very similar place..

    I came out to my mom about three years ago, and have yet to tell my dad. It's no doubt that it has been tough on my mom, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't told my dad yet. Though, I think this summer would be the perfect time to do it. I'm heading into my last year of high school before college and my parents will be speading a lot of time away this summer.. (In case things go terribly wrong)

    I'm pretty much out.. My best friends, close friends, and random people all seem to know. It's not completely out there, but a lot of my relatives that go to my school even know.

    My dad and I have never been really close, and I sense that he regrets that. By coming out, I think it'll push him even further away for a while, but hopefully we'll grow back together. I think once school has finally let out and I've had some time to sleep for more than an hour a night, that coming out to my dad, finally, will be the hallmark of my summer.
     
    #2 tinkergeek, May 9, 2006
  3. tired_of_lying411

    tired_of_lying411
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    exactly what i'm thinking :biggrin:
     
    #3 tired_of_lying411, May 10, 2006
  4. Proud1p4

    Proud1p4 Guest

    I was in the same position a couple of months back...but he found out...and was COMPLETELY ok with it. He was the type who seemed like he'd hate me forever...just as you guys said, but we became closer after he knew, as opposed to not liking each other before he knew.
     
    #4 Proud1p4, May 11, 2006
  5. stevie

    stevie
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    i wish my dad were alive so i could tell him, i think he would react better than my mom, but i will never know. do what feels right to u, dont stress over it. tell when u r ready. best of luck, keep us informed
     
    #5 stevie, May 5, 2010
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    This is bumping a 4 year old thread. Stevie, I am sorry to hear of your loss, and losing a parent is always difficult. If you need help, please start a new thread. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Chip, May 5, 2010
  7. padre411

    padre411
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    My approach is to imagine the worst case scenario and try to make sure I am prepared to handle it.

    Of course, I haven't come out to my Dad yet but with him in Saudi Arabia and Ethiopia the worst he can do is unfriend me on Facebook.

    Peace,
     
    #7 padre411, May 5, 2010
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