I don't what to feel about that. A huge part of me wants to come out to my friends and I even shared some coming out videos(of other people) on facebook. My mom saw it(she's the only one who saw it I guess)and said to me to not post like that and she said there will come a time to do that. I guess dating will not come to me until that 'right' time will come. I guess they're more afraid of me coming out than me. I don't even know why is there intention(maybe they're not ready to tell others they have a gay son). I mean since I came out to them, I always have this urge to really come out. I guess I'll have to remain closeted until I graduated college. I can't even think of more lies about myself anymore when my friends and I talk about stuff. I mean having a girlfriend that doesn't exist is the greatest lie I've ever said to them. Good thing they didn't speculate about that. You guys think I should remain closeted and follow my parents?
Uh, no. I think anyone over the age of 18 needs to come out of the closet, regardless of how their parents feel. At 19, you are an adult. You steer your own life's ship. Don't let your parents make this decision for you. Plus, college is the BEST TIME to be a young gay, as far as dating and whatnot goes. Don't let the opportunity to mingle with your tribe slip away just because your folks are afraid to come out of the closet as the parents of a gay man. When I came out, my parents were terrified that me dressing as a man and generally acting like my butchy transgendered self were going to cause me (and subsequently them) to become village laughing stocks. My mom told me that I would singlehandedly be the downfall of her social life, and that no one would want to hang out with her or my father if they knew. That's how afraid she was to be judged by bigots - queer by association. But my folks were humbled to find out that my coworkers and peers took a lot less issue with me being gay than they did. Which caused them to readjust their personal worldviews and become better, more compassionate, more empathetic people in general.
Funadmentally, it's your sexuality, so it's up to you to decide who you want to tell and when. Also, your friends are your own, not your parent's friends. On the other hand, if you're dependant on your parents for some time yet (especially if they're paying your way through college), then you don't want to needlessly antagonise them. Personally, I tried to stay in a middle area by coming out to my own friends, and not to my mom's friends (who I otherwise do talk to occasionally). I let my friends know never to bring it up in her presence so she doesn't have to deal with the uncomfortable realistaion that everyone knows (yes, she should learn to acept it, but if I took ten years to accept it, I considered it polite to give my mom some time too). You don't want to keep that situation up indefinitely, but it could be a good middle ground where you're as out as you can be with your friends, and give your parents time to get used to the thought when you're at home. though that obviously depends on how discreet your friends are and how you can keep them from slipping up in front of your parents or people who know your parents.
Would safety be an issue? Parents tend to have a lot on their mind and a lot of it tend to involve their kids. I don't wanna be a sour puss but don't write them out just yet. Talk to them, find out why they don't want you to come out. Give them your reasons for wanting to come out. Be real while keeping things calm and controlled. With that said, I do think that if you are ready to come out to anyone, you should do it! If I have the courage, I would do it too. Living hidden for so long has given me some of the worst pain I've had to deal with! All the best!! Remember that nothing you do is ever a mistake...it's just you living your life the way you presently think you should!
Um...does your parents even know what its like to be closeted?!?! I don't think they can make that decision for you...plus you're 19 already...
