coming out in high school. good or bad?

I really wish there was one answer to your question but honestly everyone's coming out experience at any age/period of their life is different. It's dependent on so many factors so no one can really tell you if it's going to be a good or bad decision for you. I'd suggest reflecting on your life and the people in it and looking at past experiences where you had to deal with difficult situations/decisions. I think when you're coming out in an environment like high school it's important to have supportive friends/family. It's a lot to deal with on your own. Can you think of one person you can tell and who will likely be supportive?

I do often wish I'd been out before I started college but I realize that this was just the way things panned out for me and the way they needed to fall in place. I just wasn't ready then and although I did have support, I wasn't able to express myself well to others (when it came to revealing my own emotions/feelings) and I had terrible coping mechanisms. But if you feel ready by all means go for it.

 

Wait till college is my vote.. but I didn't come out until I was 22.. so I'm a bit biased. I never really fit in at HS and it was a while ago..

Now that I think about it.. I was bullied.. I recall one guy saying 'Your Gay' on the bus, to which I replied 'So what?' and he replied 'Yuck'.. then i was bullied on the bus for a bit...The worst was when I was bullied in public from an old school peer (some 4-5 years after HS & after I came out).. He called me out by my name at a bar, saying i was a F#$got.. so You know what I did.. i waited till I saw him out in public and called him a F&*got.. not my proudest moment, but sent the message home nicely *swing*

Wait till your out of there. If your friends have judgmental opinions like that and you are 18, that doesnt sound long anyway . Your friends will change and you will grow into the person you want. You will naturally gravitate away from the biggots.

When you get older, you will realise that most (but not all, unfortunately) of the cliquey-ness and other rubbish from HS is a mere facade in the real world.

 

High school can be a difficult time for many reasons. I think maybe it's best to wait until you're in college since you will be generally surrounded by more open-minded people and it won't be such a hard process for you. Also, you might not be living at home which will make it easier if your coming out isn't very accepted at home in the beginning. High school kids can be immature about things and harass to no end. At least that's my experience. If you can, I recommend you wait. But then again, everyone has different experiences so maybe it's something you want to do. Either way, good luck.

 

i agree with ukeye, i just recently finished high school and came out to my family, i had already came out to my close friends (3 people) while in high school.

i dont think its a good idea to come out during high school unless your in a position where you know you're gonna have alot of support from peers that aren't just your friends, like acquaintances, or you are known and have built a strong network of trust and overall have a friendly impression with everyone

besides you dont have to prove your sexuality to people who dont matter or are gonna hurt you, the people who matter the most should be the ones you should tell first and not random people who will judge you, its up to you really

 

By the time you reach your age in high school, homophobia isn't a huge problem. In fact, I find a lot of the people at my school are quite open-minded - some actually call me a racist (due my stance on fundamentalist Islam etc.). But if your friends are saying homophobic things and you came out to them, one of two things can happen:

1. World view changes completely. Your friends become accepting and realise lesbians aren't "those dykes".
2. Freak big time. Your friends instantly believe you're going to become one of "those dykes" and desert you.

You need to weigh up which situation is more likely to happen. All people I've come out to have never really had a problem with me being bi, I think the most I've had to put up with is this person consistently being a dickhead about it, though he'd do it anyway. He's one of the people who I'd celebrate if he got expelled/not attend his funeral if he died. But I'm going off on a tangent.

Then again, as I said above, most people at my school are accepting as long as you're somewhat normal. If college is not that far away time-wise, I'd wait.

But I know that it can be awkward when bringing up the subject. When I first came out, if people wanted to go into 'more detail' or discuss my bisexuality, I'd avoid the subject.