Hi, I'm going through a confusing time. I've identified myself as asexual when I was in high-school. I've never desired a relationship or sex. I'm 22 years old and I've never kissed anyone or had sex. I've always been ok with this even though people don't understand it. I have crushes on people, but they always go away. I try to hang onto it, but then I just see them as friends. And I always freak out when people show interest in me. I dont see what they see I guess lol The reason I am writing*whoever*is reading this because I started a new job and became really good friends with two women. One is 35 and the other is 24. I always clicked with the 24 year old. Then one night we were having a serious conversation and she told me she was gay. I was surprised and then all of a sudden a hugh tidal wave of emotions hit me and I was attracted to her.* I always wanted to talk to her and I knew she was into me. Then I do what I always do and think we are just friends and see her flirting as*joking with*me. The 35 year old then told me*that she was really into*me and was hoping*that*I was gay. The attraction came back when I usually freak out when people show interest in me. I then wanted to kiss her and be with her. I didnt act on it though because the feeling goes away and comes back. I dont want to hurt her and ruin our friendship. It means the world to me. I'm just wondering if you ever felt like this at one time and how you delt with the awkward situation. I'm to scared to talk to her about it. I explained to her that I was asexual, but the 35 year old explained to me that she hopes that it is me just locked in the closet. But the idea of having sex with her scares me and I dont feel like I'm gay. I dont feel like this towards other women. It's just her. It's an ongoing joke with my friends becuase the majority of the people that hit on me are women. I never felt anything, but panic with them when they told me they were into me me. I dont understand why I feel this way with just her. Also this is the longest time I switched from being attracted to her and then just seeing her as a friend. It only happens once. The second I see them as a friend I dont ever feel the attraction for them again. After this I made a profile for a dating site just to talk to other girls and see if I could have feelings for another girl. I was talking to one girl and we hit it off. The next day*the 24 year old and*I*were talking and she told me she met a girl online that reminded her of me. I was talking to her online and felt the same spark! So it just seems to be only her I am attracted to lol After that I deleted my account and didnt own up to talking to her. But in that same week another girl messaged me and it turned out to be her current girlfriend. Talk about awkward! I turned to the 35 year old and she told Me i had to tell her. I did and now its awkward. I have strong feelings for her but it goes away a lot. Now shes with a guy and still flirts with me. I try to ignore it but its hard. I know well never be more then friends, but I still want more :s I'm doing everything not to think about it and I try to avoid her. But when she texts me I like the attention. I don't know what she wants or why she flirts if she just wants friendship. I dont want these feelings for her or anyone else! Thanks for reading this and if you have more questions about me don't hesitate to ask.
Hmmm I really wish I could be of help in this situtation :s Well I also identify myself as asexual but I'm really unsure about things concerning that matter, but I don't desire sex either and have never had it. I felt I was straight for along time up until around when I was in grade 7 or 8 when there was this one guy I just totally liked and I had never thought about guys like that until that moment, thing is I had seen him before but I didn't really start liking him until I got to know him. I was really confused at first since I was also crushing on a girl at the same time and I thought I was bi. Later on I seemed to have other crushes on guys but they usually went away, it was only him I actually liked. But anyways he's know in a different highschool and stuff and I dont have a crush on him anymore, but I have another crush like that one on this guy in my school who is like the only other real crush I've had on a guy :s and I also didnt start liking him like that until I really got to know him :s. I guess I can somewhat relate to your story
Hello sweetheart! This off-and-on you're having with this girl reminds me of the first relationship I ever had, which was with a boy named Conner. I was crazy about him, but we were young, and it wasn't really that great of a relationship. Needless to say though, when it's your first relationship, or in your case, a first relationship-type encounter with a girl, it's a pretty big deal. Trying to trick your brain into making it not a big deal isn't going to work. Your feelings are your feeling, and they're there no matter what. If I could go back and change the relationship I had with Conner, I know exactly what I'd do, I'd stop all the beating around the bush, all the mind games and silly open ended messages. It's cute and all but if you like this girl you need to be honest with her about what you want. (I know, it sounds ridiculous right now to think of it so up-frontly, because of where you two are at), but being blunt and honest is how you get to where you want to go. You only get to live once. And life is too short to let pretty girls go unkissed, or for potential relationships and experiences to be missed. As for the sexual anxiety that comes with these experiences, don't worry about any of the physical parts of a relationship all at one time. When you're ready, you'll know. It will all happen on it's own time, if you leave things un-rushed, then you'll be at a good place. :] I believe you can make this into whatever you want it to be, I truly do. Best of luck to you!
