When we get old and all our relatives die...

I beg to differ. Some friends are so close they're like siblings. I have a best friend whose like a sister to me. My sisters best friend is like her sister, and my mom even treats her like a daughter. Friends can love you the same way your family can. They may not be related, but next to family friends are the next best thing.

Don't be so negative. You can always adopt children of your own :icon_bigg

 

Theres always the generation after you in the family, for example your nephews and nieces (sp?).

 

I agree with choas....i have two friends that are more like sisters to me than my actual sister. Family isnt determined by blood.

And who says you can't/won't have kids. Adopting is an option, as well as inpregnigating a voluntary female-host with a sperm sample (i dont know the fancy medical term for it lol) [no intercourse involved]. If either of the above options arent for you, then nieces/nephews or third generations etc. Or, im sure you can be the "uncle" for a friends children. I have such a thing arranged with a friend already . She said that i was like a brother to her and of course id be their uncle.

Lastly...dont EVER go thinking that you have to be straight to have all the priveledges. We arent aliens, there isnt any "gay lifestyle"...we're exactly the same as hetero's....we just like the same sex. We live the same lives....sure we cant create kids with our partners without a third party. But there are alot of options available. It'll be ok...give it some time. You'll see one day that we too can live full lives...you'll have people to share your life with, to depend on. You'll have a third generation...you just have to use the options available to you. Blessed be!

 

Just be the best person you can - and you will have plenty of friends. Friends who will care - regardless of who/what/which orientation you are.

Be yourself, be a good person, don't be afraid - and all will be OK.

(Can you tell I'm a great believer in Karma?)

 

Maybe you dont have such a friend as close as me...becuz i value her love more than some of my family members. If so, sorry.

And nieces and nephews could very well be your best friend. Thats where bonding comes in. I mean, they're people to...who says your uncle/aunt cant be your best friend...i mean my uncle is more of a dad to me than my actual dad...we're really close.

Adoption....of course. There are orphans who would be absolutely delighted to be taken into a loving family. There are children in this world who wouldnt give a damn if their mother/father wasnt heterosexual. And i think you're being way too hard on yourself. I mean you sound like we're complete monsters..."who would want to give up their children to gay people"...not only did you just give yourself a hug punch in the gut, but everyone here as well.

And there ARE women who will fertilize themselves with a homosexuals sperm and will give their child to you because you cannot create your own. It might seem hard to believe but its a big world. This option of course is mainly if you want a "biological" heir/ess, adopting is much less trouble.

Please, remove yourself from negativity long enough to actually think with a clear mind of these options. As i said, there are many and these are only few.

 

I think lollipop is trying to get at the idea that having the typical nuclear family, a 'Leave it to Beaver' fantasy won't be an option if he leads a gay lifestyle. But what you have to ask yourself lollipop, is - where are you getting these ideas that a couple of people - which is really what a marriage is - a partnership, can't do this. Adoption is completely possible. It seems like such a foreign idea because the general media presents us with what an ideal lifestyle is supposed to be like when you really should set your own benchmarks. Don't compromise yourself. But, I agree - there will always be some sort of stigma of being in a gay relationship. Heads will be turned, rooms will go silent, there will be some discomfort. And it seems a little unfair, a straight couple will have completely different sets of problems, considerably less than a gay couple that is always fighting and defending their love. And if you're lucky enough to find that one person you want to dance all your dances and fight alongside you in all your fights - I imagine it has to be worth it instead of living a lie?

 

I think you might be confusing your experiences and feelings for everyone's experiences and feelings. Some people's family are just awful and nasty and their friends are their saving grace. This notion that "blood is thicker than water" is bunk, pure bunk. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that the notion is a complete social construction--if it's true, it's only true because so many people are raised to believe it's true, as opposed to it being inherent, inborn, or inbred. Look how many stories there are on the news about parents killing their children (and vice versa)--obviously there are lots of cases where the parent/child bond does not exist.

Family are just people who you happen to be genetically related to. That relation doesn't mean they're going to treat you any better or worse than other people. For instance, if you end up with a father who beats you, are you supposed to honour and cherish him just because he's your father? I've always thought that kind of thinking was appalling. We should honour and respect people based on how they treat us and support us, not how much their DNA resembles ours.

As other people have pointed out, you seem to be fixating a little on the whole nuclear family ideal. I think you'll find that in this day and age particularly (and in most of recent history with perhaps the exception of certain areas in North America during the 1950s) families are a lot more complicated than they're ideally portrayed.

There's nothing stopping you from finding a life partner and having children. Of course, you might want to ask yourself why you want to follow that well-worn path. One of the (sometimes frightening) opportunities gay people get (along with having to face a lot of misunderstanding) is we get the advantage of questioning a lot of the "givens" that other people take for granted, like that life progresses thusly: date, find a single partner, marry, have children, grow old together, have your children take care of you. I mean... that does not represent that many people's lives, especially today. And it shouldn't have to be what everyone is aiming for. Gods if absolutely everyone DID aim for that, the world would be awfully dull.

 

Unfortunately, this is something I see very often with my job as a nurse... but it's a tragedy not solely associated with gay couples. Having a wife won't necessarily spare you from dying alone, as your spouse may die before you, as can your children. The best plan is to have a support system of people that care about you. They don't necessarily have to be family.