Seeking a Definition

Bisexuality is the most fluid of orientations and delineates pretty much everything gay or straight does not. How can you have strong bisexual feelings? Would that mean 50/50 straight down the middle? It seems like partial straight and partial homosexual feelings. Bisexuals can change preferecnes overa period of time, or they can remain stable in their preferences. They may always prefer boys, or girls all their lvies, or be more oscillate between the two during their lifetime. And the physical attraction versus compatibility factor is only determinable by what you want. Also what are straight qualities? All these terms are just, as often reiterated throughout the forums, labels!

I personally think you don't need to label yourself. Do you go through every day thinking "Am I a carnivore, omnivore, pescatarian, vegetarian, or vegan? Not really, your orientation is not much more of you than any of these would be. Just go with what you are hungry for at this time. Just my opinion.

 

Why do you have to give yourself a label Steam Giant? You have a gift of being attracted to both sexes. You have the world at your fingertips as far as choosing a partner who is going to complete you and love you and whom you are going to love back. Try to think of it that way instead of thinking that you have to choose orientations.

 

OK, so I have read the other bit you asked us to read but things are still not clear to me. You say that you are physically attreacted to women but don't feel that you could have a relationship with them and that when you woke from the dream you felt dirty.

These are very conflicting emotions. If you really were physically attracted, I am imagining that you mean sexually aroused, to women you wouldn't feel dirty afterwards... straight guys certainly don't so I don't think you really share this 'straight quality'

At what level are you attracted to women? Your desire to be funny and charming with women could simply be a desire to be liked, this is a basic human trait that most of us have, it is not necessarily based on sexual attraction. The idea that if the woman likes you she might ask you out is again just the extention of being liked and accepted.

If you like someone you generally ask them out to get to know them better ergo asking you out is a way of saying they like you, and you just want to be liked but not necessarily with romantic intent.

I don't know if what I have written is very coherent but I don't think that wanting to please women necessarily means bi sexuality, it could have hidden roots in your relationship with your mother, aunts, sisters.

You don't give enough information about yourself for me to help you more than that. Feel free to PM me if you think I might be able to help you

 

I have this same type of feeling, and sometimes it's as irritating as you have it. I like watching guys and hanging out with them, but there's like 3 or 4 girls that might be attractive to me. I don't know if I'd like to be in a relationship with any one of them, but there's something there. For you it may be like Louise suggested, and you just are eager to please, or to be accepted. For a lot of gay guys it's easier to be accepted by girls, because you/they don't have to feel weird about sexual things. You might also be worried about something else, and that's affecting how you feel about your undefined sexuality.

Basically, if you want to pin a label on yourself, wait a while longer, and see if your tastes develop. Many people have fluid interests up to a certain age, and someday soon you might know your identity fully. For now, just enjoy life as the person you are.



Alex

 

i have a slightly similar thing. i am sometimes aroused by men but the thought just leaves me feeling unfulfilled afterwards and i don't think i would actually want to do it in real life. hence i am not sure whether it is true attraction or whether i am really a lesbian. sighs. i know this is the most annoying answer, but i think you really just have to learn to deal with uncertainty, in my opinion. or if not, i would recommend calling yourself bi for the moment, and if in a while you find that no girls have turned up that you would actually want to be with, you could call yourself gay. or call yourself gay and if a girl you want turns up, change to bi. sod knows. just try not to get wound up about it because those whose opinion matters won't care. good luck!

 

okay here is how it is:
there are dominant people and there are recessive people. its not a bad thing to be either. the dominant are more aggressive and protective and the recessive are more calm and nurturing. dominant always goes with recessive or the relationship won't work. most modern day society under sterotype puts all women recessive and all males dominant. while logic tells us this is untrue, many people follow it and spawn unhappy and unhealthy relationships. When it comes to gender a dominant female has a better relationship with a recessive female and vice versa with a male couple. since all that matters in this attraction 'law' is dominant and recessive, gender does not matter. that is why there is so many happy gay and lesbian relationships. so while you might be good with a dominant female (i believe u are recessive) you may not be happy because you are more attracted to males and its way easier to find a dominant gay man than a women who wouldnt one day expect you to fill a more dominant role later in the relationship. i know my latest 'girl' is very dominant and i am dominant, but when i'm with her i act very recessive. so its not that we don't all have some of each character (we do) so thats why a dominant woman may still wish for a strong dominant figure to protect and give her strentgh while she is still dominant in decison making and working. so you may like (depending on what the opposite of you is) males or females. its what gender we feel the most comfortable with that we pursue in the end.