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I've never flirted with a girl

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rachel1423, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. rachel1423

    rachel1423 Guest

    Alright, so I realized that I'm attracted to girls (not sexually) but I think they're really cute. I want to meet some girls that have the same deal as me, but first of all I don't know where to look, and second I really don't know how to flirt with them. I can flirt with guys no problem, but when it comes to girls, I choke up. Any advice?

    :help:
     
  2. Katelynn

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    First of all, don't panic! Flirting with girls isn't something that is so hard! It's pretty much the same really as flirtng with guys. There are a lot of non-verbal cues that girls will show that they like someone as well. My best advice is just be yourself! If she's into you, you'll know, just watch her body language. As for where to meet girls, that gets a bit trickier. Is there a lesbian bar anywhere where you live? You could even try online dating sites (although in my experience, some people are just looking for hookups sometimes, so online isn't the greatest way, plus you can meet some scary people if you're not careful too). I'm not really sure how else you can meet girls, as these are pretty much the only ways I can think of. I live in a conservative place with no gay or lesbian bars, so most girls find each other out at the regular bars, they're just really observant & rely on gaydar, or at least that's how one of my friends does it & it seems to work for her pretty well! Some girls will show you they're interested no problem, some will keep you guessing. Good luck tho! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Katt

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    Hello Sweetie!

    One (three) words. Trial and error. Just like a fifth grader has to work out the kinks of a guy-girl relationship, we have to find the way we're most comfortable talking to people we're interested in of the same sex. It's the same thing. It will take time, and you'll make some mistakes (going too fast, choosing someone that really just isn't your type ect) but we learn form all of these mistakes! And as long as you can make the right choices for yourself, there's nothing to worry about!

    Good luck dear!
     
  4. myou725

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    That is good advice. You mention non verbal clues. What are some non verbal clues?? What are some flirting verbal clues??

    Have same problem, I think someone is into me. Completely unsure, and afraid to mention to them my feeling for the fear of rejection.
     
  5. Katelynn

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    Well, the non-verbal cues that somebody is into you are pretty much the same in same-sex relationships as they are in hetero relationships. Does she laugh at any joke or funny story you tell, no matter how lame it may actually end up sounding? Does she fidget with her hair a lot while he's talking with you? Does she find something, anything, no matter how small, to compliment you on? Does she find any reason to make physical contact with you, like touching your arm while you're talking with her or while she's talking to you, seemingly for no reason? There's a lot of little things like that that may show that she's into you, but sometimes you really need to be on the lookout for them. I know that this one girl that liked me, when we were on our first date, she was always playing with her hair, twirling it & she smiled a lot, and made uber-tons of eye contact with me. Directly just gazing into my eyes. It was pretty obvious to me she was interested! There has been TONS of stuff written on the subject that's floating around out on the internet, but some of it can be less than helpful, as human behaviour can be hard to nail down due to each person being different. There's some stuff that's been done in the field of psychology as well, which may be a bit more clinical, but may be a bit more helpful. Honestly tho, there's really no substitute for just getting out there & watching people, & honing your observational skills sometimes. Just go to any local place where singles congregate & then watch how girls are when they're around someone they're attracted to, it should jump at you sometimes, other times, you ay really have to look for her signals. This can be a bit frustrating to figure out & like I said, every girl is different, so what one girl does to show she's interested may not be the same for other girl!
     
  6. Lots of great advice above!

    Like lots of people have said, body language is key. It's a lot like flirting with a guy. Chances are you've flirted with a cute girl before and thought nothing of it. Happens to me all the time.
     
  7. rachel1423

    rachel1423 Guest

    Thanks for the ideas everyone :slight_smile: I guess you're right, ahhh its just so hard! I always assume or get little crazy ideas that some girl could be into me... but then I wonder if I'm wishful thinking or not. What if I pursued with her, and then found out that she's straight and just friendly? That would be soooooo embarassing
     
  8. Katelynn

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    That is a real big problem too, straight girls who engage in 'sport-fishing' with other girls who show interest in them. Very frustrating, especially when she flirts with you & makes it seem likes she's into you, & then turns around & completely backs off. This is something you may be likely to encounter as well, but don't lose heart, there are plenty of girls out there that will be serious about showing interest & they will let you know they are!
     
  9. RaeofLite

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    I agree with Kiersten. Gotta be careful with straight women. They might be the ones that'll hurt your feelings or make you feel used or hurt. Some do it for 'fun' to see how they can drag you along or in order to impress a guy.