I'm 16 and I'm questioning my sexuality, It all started around 6 months ago when my mother died, ever since I've had gay thoughts at times and I "might" have been aroused by guys? Not sure, i checked out gay porn a few times, but I just didn't really liked it, I've tried masturbating to it, but it didn't feel right, sometimes i would just feel anxious when i tried masturbating to gay porn, lesbian porn in the other hand just bores me, so I just enjoy straight porn as it's my favourite. Then again, porn doesn't determine sexuality I know that, most of the time I fantasize about girls, in emotional and sexual situations, which also arouses me. I've had "run-by" gay thoughts, just really random ones that would go away in a few seconds, never arousing me. I check out woman 95% of the time, i never think men are "hot" or "sexy". I'm not sexually active, I haven't lost my virginity, but i'm a bit anxious on the idea of having sex with a girl cause i'm afraid that I won't be able to become erect due to my anxiety with questioning my sexuality. I've never had the intention on wanting to have sex with a guy, I've always wanted to have sex with a girl. My doctors think I have some sort of mood disorder because every month I have a few days where my anxiety is high and im feeling low, so i'm going to see a psychiatrist in a week. Ever since all this started i've done alot of research on gays, and the LGBT community, so i'm kind of an "allie" if that's the word, I support gay people, but I've never classified myself as "gay". My best hope is that i'm straight, i might also be bi-curious i'm fine with that, if I find out in the future that i'm bisexual, well that isn't so good but I can live with it, gay on the other hand, I really hope that isn't the outcome. To be honest, all my friends and family know me as straight, around 95% of the time I know myself to be straight too, 5% of the time i have doubts that I could be bisexual. I also have alot of guy friends as i'm comfortable with them, i'm not homophobic and my guy friends don't arouse me at all. Does anyone have an idea on what my sexuality might be?
If you feel like this, it would indicate that you are straight. Why is it that you really wouldn't like to bisexual or gay? Is there a reason for this?
Actually when I think about it, 5% of the time i look up guys, never aroused though, i might think sometimes that a few men are good looking, but that all, usually not sexual thoughts about them but i might think about penis at very rare moments. Cause I want to have a sexual life with a girl, and be with a girl for my life, raise kids, have a happy family. Society not accepting gays is a little part of it though, but not the main reason, I'd feel like i'm missing out, I personally like my straight life, couldn't imagine what being gay would be like, < that is my main reason.
You sound pretty straight to me... Even straight people may occasionally have "gay" thoughts/fantasies, but it doesn't mean you have act on it or allow it to mean anything. Just take it for what it is. Sexuality is more of a spectrum, really. And it can vary some over time. (Google "Kinsey Scale"). It's possible you're just slightly towards "bisexual", which in reality is pretty normal. Most people will hide such thoughts and just identify as "straight" and even fully suppress any "gay" thoughts. To be honest, I did that for years... but for me I actually found I enjoyed gay porn... so that was a big indicator to me that something was amiss. Since you don't seem to enjoy it, though, I'd say you're probably mostly straight.
Well recognising someone as good looking doesn't mean you are sexually attracted to them: I know I can say to myself "She's attractive," but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with her . You do say you specifically "think about penis" though, but I think that is reasonably common for straight males because let's face it, we do place a lot of importance on that particular organ :lol:. If you think about it in a sexual way then it could indicate some sort of bicurious tendencies.
Dude, I think you are kind of missing the point. You clearly have way too much anxiety built up about your sexual identity. Did you know that there wasn't even a concept of homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual until the latter half of the 19th century. All of these terms you are talking about have only been constructed by our society fairly recently. Human sexuality is way more complicated then just 3 or ever the 7 levels of the kinsey scale. According to the work of Alfred Kinsey most people are actually bisexual to some degree. Its very possible you are like kinsey 1 or 2, (I can't remember if it starts at 0 or 1 but I think absolutely heterosexual is 0. I'm not very familiar with that side of the scale lol) which means basically you have a strong preference for women but that doesn't mean you can't at least be someone attracted to the same sex. What confuses me is, if you consider yourself an ally, why all the anxiety about being bisexual? I mean, its not like being bisexual means you have to change your lifestyle and go on a man hunt. My advice? Forget labels, forget what people might think, and RELAX. Just try not to worry about it, only you know what feels right for you.
To be honest, not so much. Once I discovered gay porn, I went through some time trying to see if straight porn would "work"... but it pretty much didn't. If I watch straight porn, I mostly focus on the penis. While just nude girls can do something for me after a while... I believe I am mostly gay, so there is quite a difference. I'd like to echo what Jon Snow (Above) says as well.
Absolutely heterosexual (as in, for males, 'ew-dick-run-100km-away' kind of straight) is Kinsey 0. Absolute homosexual (as in, for males 'vagina-makes-me-puke' kind of gay) is Kinsey 6. @OP -> I'd just explore for a while. There is a chance the reason you are not getting aroused to guys is because you are mentally not letting yourself. But just because you don't find gay porn interesting doesn't mean you are 100% straight. By how you describe yourself and your 'interests', I'd say its most likely you are sitting at around a Kinsey 1 - that is, you have a mild interest in guys, yet it is more likely than not you will identify as straight and life a "straight lifestyle".
