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questioning........

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by piratealisonnn, Oct 8, 2011.

  1. So I know this is a redundant topic but lately I have been questioning my sexuality. For the past I don't even know how many years (probably close to 4 or 5), I have checked out both men and women. I have always 'feared' that I could be a lesbian but I honestly don't know why. I have friends and cousins who are both queer and trans and have never had any prejudice against anyone like that so I don't know why I would with myself.

    I have had many relationships with men and I always find myself getting bored with them. I have never had any experience with a woman (aside from kissing female friends) and don't even know how to go about it...

    I am just very confused as to if I could be a lesbian or even bisexual. Sorry for the rambling.
     
  2. J Snow

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    Hello and welcome to the site =)

    Sexuality is a lot more complicated then just gay, straight, and bi. If you aren't familiar with it you should look into the "Kinsey Scale." Its a lot more accurate then the common understanding of those three labels, but even it is considered a very over simplified way of understanding human sexuality.

    What's important to note is that same sex attractions are perfectly natural, and probably a lot more common then you would think. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being bi or lesbian. It sounds to me like you probably bisexual to some degree, but that's really something only you can decide.

    Best of luck on your journey of self discovery =)
     
  3. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC!

    Well, have you fantasized about women? Either sexually or romantically? What sorts of fantasies do you have along those lines?

    Lex
     
  4. Yes I have. I try not to let my wander too much sexually for either men or women because it makes me feel dirty. But I have fantasized about kissing specific women I know. And also like how it would be nice to just cuddle up with one of them.. I don't know exactly how to explain it..
     
  5. Lexington

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    >>>I try not to let my wander too much sexually for either men or women because it makes me feel dirty.

    Well, I'd say this is something you'd need to get beyond, at least to some degree. Because it's sex. It's in your programming, it's enjoyable, and there's nothing the least bit wrong with fantasizing about it. :slight_smile: Did you get intimate with any of your boyfriends? Any issues about "sex=dirty" there?

    Lex
     
  6. No I definitely have been intimate with boyfriends.. I was raised to believe that sex before marriage is wrong and while I DON'T believe that, it's still somewhat etched in the back of my mind..
     
  7. rachel1423

    rachel1423 Guest

    " I have always 'feared' that I could be a lesbian but I honestly don't know why."

    You're right, we totally are going through the same deal. I support gay people and am totally cool with it but for some reason I just cannot accept myself being one. Like, I remember being thirteen years old, and as lame at this sounds, I did this weird ritual thing and swore to myself that I would never be gay.

    But back to you, do you get the same emotional feelings with guys and girls? Are they equal in sexual attractiveness to you, or polar opposite?
     
  8. I've never been emotional involved with a girl so I can't judge much if it feels the same but as for crushes, I have had them on both males and females. Yes, they are equal in sexual attractiveness to me but lately I've been geared more towards women.. I don't know if it's because I like women more or if I've just given up luck on men. Every guy I date, it doesn't work out for some stupid reason. I get things in my mind about them that I can't get over and cut ties. Could it be because I'm just not as into them as I am a woman? I don't know :frowning2: