Hey i just had some questions and was hoping for some input from those who may have been where ive been. A little background: I'm 22 years old and just finishing up my undergrad degree. I first came out about a year ago to a close friend who I fell in love with. Long story short: he stopped talking to me and has repressed the whole thing (i think sadly hes gay and cant come to terms with it). His refusal to talk about the situation made the next few months the toughest of my life. Finally i was able to tell a close friend and he helped me immensely. Since then i have been able to come out to my entire family and many close friends, and have recieved nothing but love and support. I try to be as open about it as i can now, bc it just goes against my principles to hide it (sometimes unfortunately still do). Everyone who i have come out to was completely stunned, i guess i just dont fit the stereotype at all. Hopefully i can continue to break a lot of stereotypes, bc they are never a healthy thing. I guess my issue comes from the fact that i know i want a romantic relationship but something holds me back from pursuing it. First of all, i have still never been with a guy. Sometimes the thought of showing affection to another guy still makes me feel uneasy. And, i hate to sound shallow, but the truth is its rare that a guy really interests me. And i have yet to feel that way towards another gay guy whose also out. Anyway, i suppose what im getting at is that im really lonely sometimes and i want to change that. I have been to an lgbt meeting at my school and met a couple ppl but it was a little awkward and i felt a little out of place. I would rather meet someone through something i love, like sports, become friends and have it go from there. And finally, the fact that there are so many guys out there who cant confront their sexuality (like i couldnt, despite being very li beral and open minded and having friends that were the same way) makes me sad and i want to help create change so that ppl can feel more comfortable expressing their emotions about this, but i dont know where to start and also i find it hard to start when i am still lonely and battling with many issues myself. I know i did a little bit of rambling but i hope i posed some interesting questions (even though i know there is more i want to say). Thanks a lot for reading, i look forward to your responses - Randy
Hey, I also shock people whenever I tell people I'm gay. I get stuff like "you hide it well" even though I'm not trying to hide anything. I don't think you need to feel like you need to rush into a relationship. If you don't feel like you have had that kind of connection with someone then there's no need to feel pressured to rush things. I'm sure the right person will come along soon enough =)
Hey Honey! I am so glad to hear that you've recieved such great support from your friends and family! That's always a good start. If the thought of a romantic relationship makes you feel a bit uneasy, but you still know that it's what you want, then congrats! You're at the stage I like to call "baby-step gay" which is, of course, just another way of saying that you know exactly where you're going, but you need to listen to your gut feeling and not rush things. [: If you're worried about the availibilty of super-awesome gay guys, don't fret. The world's not gonna run out anytime soon. Beleive me, that moment where you lay eyes on him and you just think to yourself.. "wow.. he's fantastic", it will happen. Trust me, it will. [: Mybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it WILL happen. [: And if you want to make some change in the world, one of the best things you can do is be honest, confident, and represtent yourself well. If people see how great you are, and that you're gay, they just might think differently about homosexuals. [: As Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world". I have so much faith in you! Hang in there[;
