So last night a few of a few of my friends and I got together for a kind of video games and movie night. Among the people there were my friend's sister, since it was her house we were at, and two of her friends that I didn't really know. Now we were all getting along and enjoying ourselves, and when they mentioned that her 2 friends were gay, I just thought "Oh, that's nice. Glad they can be so open about it." And then, later that night when we were in the living room watching a movie, they were on the couch cuddling and holding each other. Meanwhile, the 5 or so other people that were there were completely fine and basically treated it as normal. I was glad they could be so open and intimate with each other, but it really made me kind of sad and envious that I couldn't have something like that. They were around my age, so I felt kind of bitter that they could have something like that while I just had to sit alone in my closet, angry at myself for being to much of a coward to come out. It's not that I think they'll reject or hate me, it's more that they all think I'm completely straight. And I'm too afraid that once I come out, if something goes wrong, I can't retreat to the safety of secrecy, even though what I want most is to just rid myself of all these bottled up feelings and be able to be myself. At this point I don't really care about my sister finding out and telling my homophobic dad, cause I'm sure I could find a way to talk myself out of that one or deny it, I just want to find a way to work up the courage to tell someone since the last person I confided in just basically denied it and forgot about it now. Sorry for rambling on so long, it's just this is really the only place I can express myself and what I'm dealing with.
Have you thought about telling the two gay guys? Or a stranger, I've found that many of the most meaningful conversations I have ever had have been with complete strangers or barely acquaintances. There's something about knowing they won't screw with your life just because they generally don't care/ don't know you well enough to do anything with the info you've given them. Is this always the case? No, but generally I've found it to be true.
Hello Sweetie! I'm so happy that you posted this, EC is full of helpful, encouraging people! [: Now, it seems to me that you're in a very good place, the border between acceptance/embracing yourself, and coming out for the rest of the world to see! All you have to do from here is try and see things just a little differently. Instead of thinking to yourself "Why can't I be like that?" or "I wish that was me..", see the happy gay couple as inspiration! If they can do it you can too!! In fact, it's a huge blessing to have them come out before you! You know pretty much what you can expect from that group of people, and from what you've said, it sounds like they will be tolerant and supportive! :] Sharing this deep, personal side of yourself to someone you trust is very important to start coming out to people. You'll build confidence, and you'll know that you have someone that supports you, and knows your struggle. This, my friend, makes all the difference in the world! And when you've made the journey of coming out of narnia [the closet] [:, you can be just as happy as the cute snuggling gay couple. Best of luck to you!
Thanks for the advice and support I suppose telling one of them first would net a better response than some of my other friends, and I won't get anywhere just moping about it. Well, looks like all that's left is for me to go through with it without getting cold feet, 'cause it sure as hell isn't all that much better hiding everything. I guess I'll just go for it and hope for the best, it is National Coming Out week after all :icon_bigg Hopefully, if I can get myself to go through with it, I'll come back with a positive story
Quite often some people will be at first in absolute denial that you're gay. I know when I first said I was bi, the three people I told didn't believe me, and some (as I first came out) just said I was confused, attention whoring etc. I would however consider telling these gay-accepting friends, it's a good start.
