I came out to my mom over two years ago, and it's still a sore point in our relationship. She reacted really negatively when I told her, to the point where I didn't feel completely safe in the house. She threatened to disown me, told me that people wouldn't like me if they found out, tried pressuring me into having sex with a guy because it might change me, yelled at me, insulted me, stopped hugging me, and in general was actively jerkish about it for like a year afterwards. Since then it hasn't really come up in conversation. At the moment I don't see her having anything to do with my romantic life, but even if she became somewhat tolerant or accepting I'd have difficulty letting her be a part of it because she made my life so hellish in the past. I don't think I have the best relationship with her to begin with and am much happier away from her now that I'm in college, but this seems to be a particularly conflicted area of our relationship. Is there any way I should resolve this? Would I be justified in never letting her know about my personal life even if she became more accepting? I'm currently seeing a counselor at my school about this, but we haven't gotten this far yet.
I don't see any reason to involve her in that portion of your life. If ever she comes to you in a conciliatory way, then perhaps you can think about letting her know, but otherwise, just don't discuss it with her. Lex
My mom wasn't as bad as yours, but I told her about 10 months ago. She told me how much she hated it, said it was worse then finding out her dad died, tried to forbid me from telling my siblings, etc. Since that night we have not talked about it at all, and I'm kind of in a similar situation. Like I really don't want to talk to her about it after that night, but I feel like I should. On the other hand I feel like if her opinions had changed she would have come to me and apologized by now, so I should just keep waiting it out. In your situation I think there's no reason to bring it back up. If she didn't have a problem with it anymore she should have told you herself.
