online boyfriends?

I actually just started seeing my online gf back at the beginning of August & I love her so much! As long as both of you set out clear boundaries about what you expect in the rellationship, then it shouldn't be a problem. Cyber relationships can be healthy, but only if they are also safe. You can still be emotionally abused in an online relationship, or even harrassed, so just take care if you do choose to start this kind of a relationhip. Also, expectations have to be set, I know when my gf & I started, we both agreed that we really wanted to meet IRL, but since she lives overseas, we also both made it clear to each other that if one of meets someone IRL, we wouldn't stop just for the sake of the other one that we would keep living our lives. As well, as far as sex goes, cyber sex can be a safer way to have sex without worrying about things like STDs & such, but again, take care that it doesn't get unhealthy psychologically or emotionally. Other than that, have fun!

 

Along the lines about what Kiersten suggested: I believe an important thing in online relationships is to remember to keep on living your physical life. It's important to try to make connections and be happy when disconnected from the web too.

Otherwise, I think Kiersten covered a lot of what I was thinking: be smart and safe. Make sure you really know who somebody is before you go any further. (Advice that could easily be applied to any relationship, online or not.)

 

Hey Gp3!

Great question, it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders! [: Personally, I think the internet is not the proper place to start a relationship. I have considered the ups and downs of meeting people online, and the bottom line is this;
-80% of communication is nonverbal. The words you say, messages you send, chats you exchange ect, only acounts for 20%. All of the emotion, tone, inflection, hand gestures, and physical contact that is present in a face to face relationship simply is not there. You're missing a HUGE chunk of communication if you don't have all the nonverbal elements.
That's not to say that this isn't a good opportunity to make a good friend, it absolutely could be! In fact, people that you don't know personally in real life, can be the perfect outlet to confide in, since there's no risk of having any of your secrets spilled to people you DO know.
Still, be careful, and be safe, those two are most important.
Best of luck to you!

 

If you can deal with going without the sex, go for it. I personally couldn't.

Physical contact is a big, important part of a relationship to me, and I've turned down a very sweet guy because of the distance.

 

Exactly!

See, you're such a smart kid[: Labels are fine, but not necessary, if you know what he is to you, then that's what he is! [:

 

i wrote on the other post about my online experiences. basically i got to know my boyfriend through an online dating website and we've been really happy together since the first time we met.

if i were you i'd be wary of the type of information you give out online until you've met the guy personally. You don't want to let him into your facebook and risk him outing your activities or status to everybody you know. I'm not saying everyone is like that but there are such people so be smart.

 

Well, Kiersten has some very good advice, definitely.

However: I do also want to throw in an extra word of caution here: it's easy to deceive people online.

I'm not saying this guy is not who he says he is, but you definitely want to make sure he's not a paedophile in disguise. And trying to convince kids and teenagers that they're the only one they can trust and that this is a really special, secret, unique friendship: that is also a typical trick some older guys use to lure younger people in.

So: do make sure you don't give any information that could be used against you. If he seems eager to jump to "risky" things (cybersex, camming, etc...), that is a red flag. If he sometimes changes his story, that's a red flag. If he gets insistant or demanding or abusive if you're not going along with what he says, that's a red flag. If there's a large age difference, that's a red flag.

So, and I'm not trying to be needlessly alarmist here: do be careful!

 

It's pretty easy to deceive people in real life, too. Someone could say they are gay, lead you along a bit... and then jump you with some buddies and beat you senseless. In that sense, online interactions are actually safer than meeting people at clubs or bars.

People who are under 18 need to be -more- careful, but a little common sense is all that's needed, generally speaking. Giving out addresses, full names, phone numbers and the like is a bad idea until you're MUCH older (and even then it's risky) and have been talking to this person for a long time. Skype is good because you can see the person and hear them, and that can help confirm they are who they say they are.

I met my fiance online; we moved in together the first day we met face to face, but we'd known each other for about four years at that point. It can work, it can last... but you have to be sensible and it's not for everyone.

 

Agreed. Be careful, this happend to me before and I'm still suffering years later!

 

As everyone else said, just let your head and common sense rule what goes on between you and people over the internet. You're young, and people might want to take advantage of that.
It's probably best that you keep things private enough for a while that you would be able to easily cut off contact with this guy if things took a turn for the worse. Remember that you can always just turn your computer off, or block this guy from seeing you online if you ever feel uncomfortable with where things are going.

 

I'm in an online relationship right now only because I can't have a real boyfriend without coming out, which I'm not ready for yet. Even though i've never met him, I still love him <3

 

I agree--it's best not to really trust anyone online until you know much more about them. Of course not everyone is bad and deceitful, but it's a whole heck of a lot harder to tell online! But I do have one online friend I have who I trust with all my heart--we've talked on the phone, emailed, written letters, and exchanged cell numbers. We have one another's home addresses too (for letters, and such, which I first sent with no return address for safety), so if he ever tried anything could get him back. XD

And as nice as online relationships can be, you have to deal with not being able to physically see or touch the person you're dating all the time. I personally don't love the idea, so I stopped looking online.