Hi ec members...I just want to share about what Im dealing now..I just came out to my parents and as I predicted they react sadly..my mom cried and push me that is a lie and she said she is hurt..and she can not accept it..my dad responded with anger as he is religious and told me to find help in God..saying that my soul is lost and would be burnt in hell if I dont change..I said that Ive been accepting myself and Im already fine with it..but he can't take that and I got to find salvation..Im so sad that the fact they're devastated knowing this..what should I do?
I'm sorry you have had such a bad response from your parents. It was courageous of you to come out knowing that they probably would not take it well. As for what you should do, it's hard to say. Many parents will come around eventually, but it can take a very, very long time (and it sounds like that might be the case with yours). Be prepared for the fact that they may go through certain stages - they may outright deny or ignore what you have said, they may claim you're going through a phase, they may try to make you take back your words. Do you think you're in danger of being kicked out of your house or anything like that? If so, it might be best to lay low and not push the issue for the time being. But if not, I would say it's best to calmly reassert yourself when you need to - don't try to pick a fight with them or change their minds, just keep telling them "this is who I am". Right now your parents are going through a kind of mourning - they feel that they are in danger of losing the "you" that they thought they knew, and this is frightening for them. Be firm and confident in who you are and hopefully they will come around.
I'm so sorry that they took it so badly. I would say first to give them some time to digest the information. I mean, it took you a while to realize this, so it will take them a while to come to terms with it. Also, you might try to get some info on LGBT and religion for your father and also print of some PFLAG info (I know that there are some people on here that can link it for you, sorry I'm on my iPhone..) Also you could just show your dad that nothing has changed. It's not like since your gay your going to go out and be crazy and do crazy things. You are still you. Sorry I can't help more... but I'm sure others on here can.
My parents reacted similarly at the beginning. Give them time, they will come around and stop blaming you for their hurt/disappoint.
It's taken almost 2 years for my parents to stop asking if I've met any nice men, and to not be awkward when I talk about my gay friends. They've met a couple of my ex girlfriends so life isn't entirely bad anymore. It's taken a long time though. I was told I was sinning so badly and going against what women were basically meant for and that I would never produce children.. (grandchildren for my parents), or be accepted in a proper profession and other horrible negative stigmas/stereotypes that pretty much aren't true at all. It takes time. You cannot force the change. (*hug*) Stick to your guns. It hurts like hell and you might be tempted to live a lie just to earn back their happiness and love. Stick to who you are and your beliefs about yourself and what you want in life to be happy. You deserve happiness.
