I want a relationship but I know that I won't find one if I'm searching for it. I came out a few years ago now and still no relationship.. lately I just feel everythings on pause. The thing is, I don't want just casual hookups.. I've learnt I'm not that kinda guy. I need a connection. I'm 25 in a week and I just feel like its about time I have one. The problem is, my life atm is pretty lack lustre. I've moved to a new place with 0 friends. I will start meeting new peeps at uni next year.. I just feel so depressed and disconnected from any form of gay lifestyle. I could go to the clubs, but feel way too anxious to go that alone right now. I know its pretty cliche to say I want to find 'the one'.. but I feel like I'm getting old and missed the boat - people around seem to be moving forawrd, doing their thing, marrying and I just feel stuck . I don't know where to turn.
Hello Ukeye! Believe me when I say there is no time limit for these sort of things. You have no experation date, and niether does opportunity of love. I know exactly how you feel, when I was a little younger, I was scared because everyone was getting better grades than me, and doing better in school. I thought I'd never be able to be truly acdemic.. but you know what? It was all in my head! I think you're setting yourself up to belive something that isn't true. And hun, if you feel like your life is short of marvelous, and that you may be feeling depressed, or anxious right now, then it probably isn't the best time to bring someone into it. Take some time to reinvent things, get a new haircut, new wardrobe, find some new favourite hobbies, make life FUN! After all, you only get one chance at this. [: I would suggest seeing a doctor about some depression medicine [I might've already talked to you about that. I'm not sure] But it is a really good idea. You need to be taking care of yourself, and I want you to have all the resources you need to be able to do that. Good luck sweetheart! I wish you the best!
Yeah thanks Katt.. You are right about just enjoying life as it comes. I just need it to pick up a bit I think. I'm going on a holiday soon so that is a step forward. I think I will re-evaluate next year and maybe give medication another go. Its just so hard finding the right one and I am such a stubborn personality I tend to stop them abruptly which is no good for anything.. sigh. Someone told me that the meds have come quite far in the last 10 years. its just I'm skeptical of going to a GP to get them. maybe a psych would be better? its Ironic that psychology is what I'll be studying next year ha!
I can relate. I hadn't had a serious relationship either until I was 25. And that's because I wasn't really interested in women, but didn't realize I was gay. So I was set up with a wonderful woman who became my wife shortly afterwards. It wasn't until I was 36 that I me a man who was perfect for me, and who I married this past summer after turning 40. Maybe that's depressing, but the point is that it's never too late. You haven't missed any boats. They continue to sail throughout our life. I'd agree with Katt though that you need to love yourself before you can expect to have someone else fall in love with you. And in the mean time, make friends for the sake of making friends - not with the intention of eventually dating them. Because on that front I totally agree with you - the harder you look for a relationship, the more elusive it's likely to be. You've got SO much time ahead of you - and you've figured yourself out years ahead of me doing the same. It's all good!
I know how you feel... Every day I walk through my house and once again realize that I am the only one here, besides my animals. I say good night to the cats when I lay down to sleep, but no one ever says good night to me. I can't help but think 'three bedrooms... and no one to share it with'. And even though my parents live right across the street, I still feel really lonely. I really want a relationship, but I am really shy, and I find it hard to approach anyone. I hope you find someone!
Honestly once you go to college you're going to meet a ton of people and make friends. This is my first semester and I've made tons of friends and college is a really great place to find gay people as well
We seem to have a lot in common in terms of our approach to relationships. I feel similarly about casual hookups, but it seems as if we're all expected to fool around before settling down. My best friends (who are the same age or slightly older) are all married or in steady relationships, and my parents are each other's first, so I also feel as if I've "missed the boat" somehow. It's not true, but feeling this way can't be helped sometimes. I hope that you will be able to form many, many new and lasting friendships at university. Who knows, maybe one of them will be "the one". I wish you luck. Same here. It's hard enough for shy people who are hetero to approach others, and they're more common.
I am the same. I need the connection before I am intimate with an person. well google the gay organisations in your area to find anyone of interest to you. Dont feel you are getting old. You are still quite young. Once you go to college you will make friends for sure. Anyway you may be feeling down but remember after an storm brings an rainbow.
