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I met a guy update

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gay Boi, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. Gay Boi

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    emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/52150-i-met-guy.html

    I saw the guy I like today. I introduced myself to him. We chatted for a while. It felt like a date because of we talked mostly about ourselves. I asked him how his weekend was going and he complained about the lack of stuff to do for single people around the city. I told him I hate going out alone and he said he doesn't mind too much. A few minutes later he asked me "so you hate going out alone" and my phone rang. It was my mom and I had to take it because the last time we talked we had a fight and I did not want her to think I am still angry by ignoring her call. I thought he was about to ask me out then. What do you guys think?

    Anyways I am not sure if he's gay. But there were to things that he said that made me think he might be gay. I mentioned to him that my masters dissertation is about apparel sizing for different women's body shapes. He said that he hasn't noticed that their shapes were that different. He also said something about his exgirlfriend but he did not finish the word and changed the topic. I got the feeling that he doesn't want me to think he is straight. I remember when one girl in my class had a boob job I was the last to notice; I also talk about nonexistent girlfriends depending on the company at hand. Could he be gay?

    He's such an amazing guy. He seems so perfect that I can't believe he's real. I have been hating myself for letting myself get so infatuated with him. I thought I was a borderline stalker. He has been constantly on mind ever since the evening we met. I even failed the test I had last night because I couldn't focus on studying. I have been regretting not introducing myself that evening. I have also tried to convince myself that what I felt that evening was a fragment of my desperate imagination. I sat around in the garden this afternoon waiting for him to come by so that I could introduce myself. He even asked me if I was outgoing because of how I introduced myself because in the city we live in everyone minds their own business. It was out of character for me but I had to just open up. Now that I have introduced myself my mind can focus on other stuff. I just hope things go well. When should I ask him out? Should I wait until we know each other better? I don't want to look desperate without seeming uninterested.
     
  2. Yuya

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    Have you got his number? If yes, I think you should arrange to meet him next weekend for a drink or whatever you guys like to do. Ask him abit more about his past, like does he have girlfriends? Where he's from. What his family like. If you're feeling ballsy you can test him by telling him about your gay friend from class and see how he reacts to it.
     
  3. Katt

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    Hi sweetheart!

    It sounds like you've got quite an opportunity on your hands. But I understand it can be quite stressful when there are so many things you feel like you don't know. I've talked to a lot of people in this situation. For many, everything seems to be going right, and yet they are very anxious, and unsure. The answer quite simple and harmless.
    Because love is blind (which I assure you it is), it has a hard time seeing that the infatuation itself is what makes the nervousness so strong, and powerful. We see something so fanstastic, something that we don't think we can live without, and suddenly, that thought takes over.. and we realize that if that thing, whatever it may be, were to leave, or dissapear, or vanish from our lives, that our lives would be miserable, and worse off because of it. That, my friend, is a very scary thing. Some people will say to you, "oh it's only a crush", or "you'll find someone else". And they are half right, chances are this boy is part of the journey, not the destination. But they are wrong in thinking that it doesn't matter. You and I know better. We know that your feelings are wrapped up in this boy, and that in itse;f makes him important. It's not easy to sit around knowing that there's something out there that you need more than anything, but might not get.
    And you might not win his affection, it's a possiblilty. Perhaps he is interested in women exlusively, or maybe he doesn't want a realtionship, but until you find this out, you will never know. I encourage you to take this opportunity, and run with it. You've been given the ball, making the shot is entirely up to you. [:
    Good luck love!!
     
  4. Gay Boi

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    Thanks a lot Katt for the advice. It is greatly appreciated. I know the ball is in my court and I need to take that shot. That is what scares me the most.

    There is just something different about this time around. I can't explain it; I have never felt like this before. There have been other guys in the past but this time round it just feels different. And I am scared of the unknown. I used to think I had fallen in love before but it doesn't compare to how I feel now. Its no point calling it an infatuation because I think I am falling for him at a deeper level.

    I wasn't looking for a relationship. Things just happened. I even introduced myself to him yesterday. That by itself is out of character for me. I am the biggest introvert on this planet yet I went up to him and introduced myself!

    Three years ago my life fell apart. But in the last year I have been picking up the pieces. I have managed to lose 22 kg's and I have another 15 to lose. I am busy completing my masters degree in fashion and I have also been offered a great job. So all in all life was starting to fall into place and in the middle of all of this he comes into my life. He was the last thing I was looking for. After being hurt the way I am scared of being hurt again. But now that he's here I just realised that I want him around. I usually take about two years to open up to people but with him I just felt so comfortable opening up. Whatever happens between us, I want him in my life whether as a friend or more. I just need to finally ask him out. So that I can at least know which road are we heading down.