I need advice... I met the most amazing guy ever, but...

I'm definitely not an expert at stuff like this, but I'm in the exact same situation myself at the moment so maybe i can help...

My advice would be to just keep hanging out with him and drop little hints that you like him like that. Ask him to go to a movie with some friends and just make sure you sit next to him. Or you guys can go alone, but that might be a bit obvious. but yeah, relationships don't start immediately, so just keep hanging out with him and keep trying to make things progress. It may take months, but the first step is just to become really good friends! Good luck!!

 

How comfortable would you be just being honest with him about this stuff? Would you trust him to keep it between you if he is not interested?

 

If that's the case, than I agree with the comments above. Maybe try to hangout in small groups and work up to some one-on-one time with him and maybe drop some subtle hints and flirt a little bit. I'm a university senior too so I understand how you are feeling, but if you are worried about ruining your friendship then don't do anything drastic. Just play it out slowly and you might have to make some adjustments, but if you like him, you won't be any happier trying to get over it. Good luck (*hug*)

 

nothing sounds stupid so don't worry about that. Everyone is different, but in my opinion its easier to convey subtly with actions than with words... some things I can think of are maybe more eye contact when you are talking to him, maybe a few extended stares, try to increase your physical contact with him without it being in a sexual way, if you are more the verbal type, try to maybe tell him you think he looks cute one day or something like that. It will be a bit more subtle if you kind of say it in a joking tone but still kinda mean it... if that makes any sense?

 

I know how you feel and I am somewhat going through the same thing. Let us know what happens.

 

Hmm.. If he is gay, I don't see what the problem is personally. Why should your inexperience/insecurities stand in the way of honesty?

I would ask him what its like to be gay and get some further insight into what hes about. Ask him what sorta guys he finds attractive, you could even cheekily ask if he finds you attractive . At least that way you know.

Just because he has crossed some bridges you haven't doesn't make you any different - you're both human beings with what sounds like a shared sexual persuasion .. If I were in your shoes, I'd be forthcoming put it that way. No point going backward in coming forward

 

I wouldn't say that telling him that you may also like guys would ruin anything between you. I mean honestly, it's not like he's homophobic. He told you he was gay and that didn't ruin anything for you guys. Think of it as coming out, and you're just coming out to him, I don't see how that could ruin things.

 

I wouldn't hesitate to tell him you think you could be bi/gay. The reason he is saying he will never have feelings for you is because saying 'Oh, I might like you later on' can really creep some straight guys out. Friendship-ending kind of creepy.

As for saying you have feelings for him? Wait a while, get to know him better etc. before you do that. You never know, he may sorta like you, just not wish to express those feelings.

 

yes, i have to agree with others on telling him your current situation with your sexuality. in fact, because he can meet you in person and we cant, hed probably be of way better help. as for telling him you like him, wait until after you "come out" to him and only tell him if you feel the time is right. from my perspective, if i had a supposedly straight friend tell me hes questioning his sexuality, id want to help him through it and be there for him; if you do this, im sure hed feel the same

 

Let us know how it goes! I'm wishing you luck!!

 

(*hug*)GOOD LUCK!!! keep us updated for sure

 

Well, a few thoughts:

I wouldn't take his response of "don't worry I know you are straight and could never have feelings for you" as him completely dismissing the possibility of any type of relationship. Many openly gay people, especially in a classically straight atmosphere like a fraternity, say that...I guess to add some sort of comfort level to ensure there are no uncomfortable situations. So I wouldn't let that get in the way of anything.

As far a changing your friendship: yes it certainly will. It could bring you closer together or it could add more distance. Such things are always a gamble, and there is no way to tell if you will have won the poker game until you put all your cards down...but you need the courage to walk up to the table to begin with.

As far as flirtatious hints: Well, there are the classic ones like the brief touch of the arm, the brief eye contact etc. Or you may want to take the approach of simply asking questions when you are alone, like "When did you first know you were gay" "How did you come to terms with it" "How did your family react?" and "how exectly does someone come out?" etc...in other words, ask leading questions that drop hints at your situation. If he is pretty observant, he should pick up on them...and if he does and asks you, be honest with what you are thinking.

I wouldn't come out and say "I'm gay" or whatever...because...really, I don't think you know at this point...from what you have described you are at that cross-roads of bi-ness and gay-ness...which is fine, we all have been there. But you are certainly one of the two.

If all else fails, go out and get drunk with him...that tends to loosen things up a bit.

Good luck.

 

I can't think of any rational reason why he would hate you.

I'd say just try and move the conversation in that direction (i.e. sexuality, LGBT etc.) and then tell him. He may appear to react negatively at first, but if anything that's more being surprised, not to mention you are (possibly) putting yourself on his 'Available' list.

 

wow! Please tell us how it goes tonight. I know how you feel. I am fighting through a crush with my own best friend. I know exactly where you are coming from, where that person is in your every thought, and you worry about them, and just want to be close to them... the only difference with me, is that my friend is completely straight. She's dated more men then I can count on two hands. So I've decided to fight through it and just be happy with being friends. Your situation, is different because he is gay.

I don't think I 'd be much help, because I'm still in the closet, but I'd love to hear his reaction, because I plan on telling my her that I am gay myself on wednesday, and this will give me a headsup on her reaction.

Good luck!

 

I don't think it's "impossible" for him to never see you as more than a friend. He probably set a mental boundary for himself thinking that you're straight and isn't willing to cross it--I know I do that. If a girl is straight and I know it, then I don't even consider her as an option for me. Unless something suddenly changes, I don't cross that line I've set up for myself.

But I think that if you start giving hints or even just tell him "Hey, I think I might be bi...." then that would greatly improve your chances. I don't think it's fair to yourself to give up before you've even given yourself a chance. Good luck, and as everyone has said, let us know! ^-^