I'm a sophomore in high school right now. I'm very athletic considering I play varsity baseball and football for my school. I also happen to be gay. I try very, very hard to be as masculine as I can so no one find out. I honestly dont care what people would say about me if they knew. I'm just scared to imagine what my life would be like if my teamates knew such a terrible secret. I go so far as to look at girls walking by and talking about them when with sport friends. I know there are gay athletes out there but I just have never talked to another feeling the same as I feel. I think im somewhat attractive considering I always have friends telling me they know someone that likes me. That's probably one of the hardest problems I'm having to deal with, girls liking me. When they ask me to ask them to homecoming or prom or something i always tell them I'm talking to another girl already. That's the only way I can find to get them away from me without letting them find out the real reason. I have this cute freshmen boy I think is gay in one of my classes but I can't ask him if he is because what if he isnt and tells everyone? My life would basically be over then. I just want to know if there are any people like me out there...
There are definately people out there who are in the same situation as you. Myself for one, I was on the varsity baseball team through high school and again in college. I sympathize entirely with what you are going through and know exactly how it feels to be in your position. I can tell you that as you get a little older and are around people who are a little more mature, the worry of having people spread it around diminishes a lot. In terms of advice I can give to you, I would say even though you have a crush on him, don't be in a rush to tell him. Maybe spend some time with him as friends first and make sure he is trustworthy and that you are comfortable with him before you tell him something you are scared to. Going through high school and even now I can be emotionally attached to girls with no physical attraction so most people think I am straight, but when I found friends who were genuinely my friends and I was comfortable talking to people about it, It does help how you are feeling a lot and you feel much less devious and sneaky. As far as people being in your situation I was there just a few years ago so if you have anything you are more curious about, feel free to ask me. (*hug*)
I agree with the person above me. If you have a crush on him, try getting to know him and become good friends first. Then, once you feel you can trust him, tell him you're gay. Then from there, you can decide if you want to tell him you like him or not. This sounds simple, but these steps could take months. The key is just to not rush anything. Good luck!
