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I lied to my mom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rooni321, Oct 16, 2011.

  1. Rooni321

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    I'm really upset. Tonight we were watching the Real World San Diego and my mom asked me who the one I had a crush on was(which is Sam; I didn't really mean a crush but she cute..anyways!). And for those of you who know who don't know who Sam is, she is the absolutely irresistable lesbian on the show. A few weeks ago I made it public that I thought she was hot on FB so with my mom having a FB and watching my every move tonight I lied and said it was some guy. And boy do I feel like shit, I haven't lied to her in a while now And this isn't the time I should start. I feel like crying. That might have been the moment I finally came out to her. I mean I'm out on FB now but that's only because she deleted hers. I feel like shit and I don't want to admit I lied to her and have to explain why. That's so negative :frowning2:

    *And I appologize at how stupid this might sound because I always get mad about problems that have anything to do with FB. I just really need a shoulder to cry on I guess.
     
  2. Raeil

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    Hey now, (*hug*). It's ok to take time to come out to your parents. Actually, forcing yourself to do it when you're not ready is a bad step to take. Be patient, and work with yourself to figure out why you're having trouble telling her. Is it because you're afraid of her reaction? That's usually the most common one, but once you've identified exactly what's holding you back you'll be able to take steps to make yourself more comfortable with being out to your mom.

    There's nothing shameful about what happened. You were unprepared for the question to come from your mother, and you panicked. You'll be prepared in due time, and then there won't be another lie. :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
  3. Revan

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    Huggles. You'll get there, don't worry. I hate to say it but lying to our parents kinda is just something that is a common occurrence. I know it's maybe not something you want to lie about...but none the less...

    PS. I think Frank is cute...but his over-drinking emotional outbursts are kinda really scary....that's my only real problem lol....
     
  4. Gallatin

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    Like Raeil said, don't feel ashamed or bad over it. There were times when I had to lie, or at the least avoid the truth, with my parents. I didn't exactly feel great about it, but I viewed it as a necessary evil - I just wasn't ready to come out to them yet. When I did eventually come out to them, I did encounter the question of, "Well, why did you say those things about liking girls and wanting to have a wife and kids someday?" I simply responded with the truth - I said those things because I wasn't ready to tell them and I hadn't accepted myself at the time.

    The right time to come out will arrive - don't rush it. Do it only when you feel comfortable and ready. If it means you've got to lie a few more times to cover yourself, then so be it. Just don't beat yourself up over it!
     
  5. Rooni321

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    First of all thanks for the support! It really means a lot :slight_smile:

    And yes; I'm totally afraid of her reaction and I don't think I'm ready to answer any questions she might ask me. But its totally irrational because she has MANY gay friends -_-

    ---------- Post added 17th Oct 2011 at 02:20 PM ----------



    (*hug*) thank you, I was just so caught off gaurd that the only thing I could do was lie because I felt so trapped >_<

    And yeah he is but he needs some help. Its dangerous! Maybe he should check out EC :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. sloaners

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    We've all done the same thing. It's hard when you're not ready to come out, and then you think about how it could have been the perfect opportunity.
    Last week I was skyping with my twin brother -who knows that I'm a lesbian- and then my mom walked into the room right when my brother was talking about his friend who he thinks might have a crush on him (my brother is straight). And I jokingly said, "Well, Chase, it's national coming out day.. you're not too late." And then my mom chimed in, "That's right, do either of you have anything to tell me?" We both laughed and told her no. Then she left and I was just thinking how I should've just said yes.
    It's hard, but you have to protect your feelings until you're ready.
    Stay strong. <3
     
  7. Rooni321

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    Thank you for your support! Its good to know there's other people that have been in my same situation. It just sucks that sometimes lieing is neccisary.

    ---------- Post added 17th Oct 2011 at 03:24 PM ----------

    Wow do you think your mom has any idea??
    And thank you :slight_smile:
    I'm guessing it just wasn't the right time to tell her and everything will happen when its supposed to.
     
  8. Mr.Pushover

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    Hey there, it happens! (*hug*)

    No need to feel upset. If you're not ready to tell her, then it's okay! It takes time, and you gotta feel confident enough when you do come out to her. There'll be plenty of other chances when you're ready! :slight_smile:
     
  9. sloaners

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    I think my mom probably has some idea. She's joked about me being a lesbian since I was thirteen... She knows I'm the non-traditional one in the family! She'll know for sure soon enough how right she was ahah.