please..christians help ;_;

First off, look to your own signature - "Just remember...Things are NEVER hopeless." You sound like you need to remember that right about now. (*hug*)

My mom didn't exactly take the news of me being gay with open arms. She freaked, to say the least. She said a number of hurtful things. She refused to believe that I could be gay, and that I could change if I wanted to. She didn't want to hear my explanations, either. I took to a strategy of consistently bringing the subject up, while also printing out PFLAG pamphlets and such to give to her. I always stayed diplomatic and never gave into emotions when speaking to her, even though she was getting hysterical half the time. Eventually, I managed to get through to her. So that would be my advice to you. You're still her son - she may not want to listen to you, but you've got to at least keep telling her. Eventually she'll (hopefully) get the message.

As far as the pastor goes, I wouldn't fight going. Just do it. Listen to everything the guy has to say, know that you are who you are and there's nothing wrong with you, and then tell your mom the truth afterwards - that you listened to what he said, but none of it changed the fact that you're gay. That's just who you are; it wasn't a choice.

Good luck!

 

I feel terrible for you because I’m not sure what I can do or say that will help you in this type of situation and for that I am sorry. As cliche as it is, “People fear what they do not understand” and being gay and Christian seems to be the most baffling thing in the world to some people. Know that God loves you. And always will.

You’re very young and I’m sure they will use that against you saying “You don’t know right from wrong” or “You’re just confused”. If anyone is confused it is those who are not willing to learn such as those we call fellow Christians. Don’t let anger cloud your judgement- stay calm and focused. Do not let your mother or the pastor persuade you that you are a sinner or imperfect or confused and young. This is not a phase nor is it a sin in you. You are perfect because you were perfectly made by the Almighty!

They are sure to bring up Leviticus. My suggestion to you is go and read Leviticus now- highlight/sticky note every contradictory passage in it. AND IT’S FULL OF THEM! To start you off; you cannot work on Saturdays, you cannot cut your hair, you cannot shave, you cannot eat sea food (shrimp specifically), you can’t eat rabbit, you can’t wear clothes made up of more than ONE fabric, have sex with a woman during her period- ostracize them, the cake-topper for me (which goes against EVERY THING CHRISTIAN) do not let the blind, lame, or flat nosed approach the altar. HUH!? I do not know where in the Bible (I think Jeremiah) it says it but it says do not cut trees down and adorn them with gold ornaments- uh, Christmas, HULLO!? And in Deut it says kill those who worship other gods. The Bible says many things that are not only contradictory but also against Christian thought- and as Christians our greatest power is the power of Christ and Christ is Love. End of story. The problem is we pay more attention these days to the passages of hatred in the Bible than those of Love. What gets me going and fighting for Christian LGBTQs is the fact that these laws against homosexuals are all in the Old Testament. As Christians we do that which is in Christ. Christ is the New Testament- He made the Word become flesh. We are CHRISTians. And Jesus never said one bad word against homosexuals, in fact he said “Love others as I have loved you". Christ was friends to all- lepers, prostitutes, lame, blind, basically everyone who was outcasted in society.

Nothing I can say or do can help you. I wish to goodness I could be with you and help you in person. Don’t be angry at those trying to change and threaten you. Know that they are just ignorant of your feelings. SHARE your feelings with them passionately. Show them this is not a mistake in you nor is it a phase- tell them fervently how you feel- WHAT you feel! Does the Lord God want you to be alone for the rest of your life? Then why make you in the first place? God wants you to be happy and loved by someone you love and who loves you back and if that individual is someone of the same sex then so be it as it is God’s Will.

The Bible was written/collected by men, but men who thought for God. It has beautiful passages of hope and love despite some of Its hateful rules and laws.

I wrote this to another EC member going through what you’re going through;

"Galileo supported the idea of the Heliocentric universe (that meaning the Sun is the centre of the universe, not the Earth) although it says in the Bible we live in a geocentric universe. Because of his views he was to be condemned to death by the Church, but was forced to recant for his life (which he had to do and did). Fast forward to today WE ALL KNOW THE SUN IS THE CENTRE OF OUR UNIVERSE despite what the Bible says...do you know when the Church apologized to Galileo?

1992.

I was fucking 3. Thats wasn’t THAT long ago.

Think about what I have just told you. God is always right. Man is not. God made you and God is never wrong. Man is."

Be strong. Jesus was tested too. Imagine the pain and the suffering He had to endure when He knew He was the Son of Man and everyone thought Him a fraud and blasphemer- what they might call you.

He died so that you may live happy. Never loose sight that God and our Lord loves you UNCONDITIONALLY!

God be with you, always.

(*hug*)

 

I don't have much to add to the advice you already got.
However, here are two links to Pflag booklet you may want to print and give to your mother :
http://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=495
http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202
I also think it would be a good idea to take an appointment with your school counselor as soon as possible and let them know about what's happening with your mom. They can help you with this, especially with the "taking you out of high school" part, and hopefully they'll be able to provide you support.
Please, whatever happens with your mom, keep in mind that it's ok to be who you are and don't start believing any nonsense about the fact gay people are sinners.

Take care and let us know how are things going.
(*hug*) Cécile

 

get your mom to watch "Prayers for Bobby", it will give her a new perspective on alot of things, and could help her see this situation from your side.

good luck xx

 

Another good film is For the Bible Tells Me So. It's a documentary about religious folks and their gay/lesbian children. It's worth checking out.

 

Usually for any posts on being a gay Christian I go into a small study but I don't think you need that. Just know there are other Christians who are gay. Your mom most likely will refuse to see that, like mine. Yes, the next few weeks are going to be a struggle for you but you will not be faced with anything you cannot overcome. I told my mom last Sunday and in the last day or two she is now coming around and talking to me.

Make her happy and see your pastor, just show her you care enough to listen to what she has to say. Your pastor will sit there and condemn you and blast you with the 7 verses and won't care too much what you have to say. Don't retaliate or say anything you might regret, show him the type of person you are.

Good luck, keep us updated!

 

The good news is that your mom loves you, that is the most important thing.
Now, the best intentions in the world sometimes leads to horrible things. Be very cautious and get as much support as you can.

Let us know how things are going (*hug*) Cécile

 

Well the best thing I guess is to keep the subject of homosexuality as minimum as possible while you are living there. If you have an boyfriend, and your mother sees you around with him just only say he is an friend. Yet Eleanor and Chip is right you need all the help and support you can get.

 

You are not alone. I am also Christian, as is my mother, and she did not take my coming out well either. She thinks that I have a choice since I am bi, and that I will leave God and go to a "gay lifestyle" that she doesn't want for me. Remember that your mother still loves you and wants what is best for you, and you can show her that being gay is not a bad thing, not a sin.

(*hug*)

 

I'll join the chorus. I'm also gay, with very Christian parents. It takes awhile but she'll come around. Also, know that you are very lucky that she said she loves you and is keeping the lines of communication open! That's very important and remember that while you have probably known for a while, she is -just- figuring this out... remember how long it took youto come to terms with being gay? Give her time too!

I am not sure which denomination of Christianity that you or your mother belong to but know that many Churches are becoming more and more accepting of homosexuality. Heck, a number of them have begun Gay Blessings, Marriages and appointing openly gay people to high ranking posts (aka the Bishop of New Hampshire).

But if you really want to get into to Bible and homosexuality, drop me a line, I'd love to chat. Also -- I would really reccommend a sermon by Rev. Mel White, titled "How Can I Be Sure That God Loves Me, Too?". I am sure you can find it on YouTube, but here is a clip.

 

Well, I've read through the advice everyone else gave and I don't have much to add, except stand by what you know to be true, there is nothing wrong with being gay.

 

Ok first, what denomination of Christian are you? Baptist? Episcopalian? Catholic? Pentacostal? It may not make a big difference in God's eyes, but when it comes to homosexuality... the spectrum is pretty wide.

Generally though, keep in mind that the Pastor is just that. He is a person who is attempting to protect and guide the spiritual lives of his flock. But remember, he is human, he doesn't have all the answers, but he is -trying- to guide you in what he interprets/understands is right. However, in the end remember that what you believe is right and wrong is between YOU and GOD.

So, I guess I'd say, be courteous, respectful and try to understand where he is coming from. But at the same time, he needs to try to understand what you are going through.

In the end, just keep in mind, that no matter what the Pastor tells you; you are you. God made you this way. You can't change it, no matter how hard you pray or want to. You need to come to terms with who you are and what you believe. No one can tell you the answers to these questions; unfortunately (or fortunately?) you need to figure these things out on your own.

And you know what? If he isn't someone you feel comfortable talking to about this -- Tell your mom. She sounds like she cares and she is probably just as confused or more confused than you are. There are other pastors, councilors etc that you can talk to. And maybe that is all your mom needs. Just knowing that you are finding the help/advice that you need and she isn't prepared to give.

I don't know your mom; but she sounds like she cares a lot for you and is confused (as many of our parents were). Just take things one step at a time, you won't figure it out in a day, trust me!

 

I wouldn't really suggest starting a debate with the guy, that could have a nasty set of ramifications. If you are looking to have a calm talk and get your points across go ahead. Google search "what the bible does and doesn't say about homosexuality" its a really good site that I have used in telling every Christian I'm gay. Do your research and get a good understanding before you go talk to him. Just remember if he starts getting mean or angry, just stand up and leave. You have nothing to prove to him, just open the door to new thinking for him.

 

With the pastor...

"My mom wanted me to talk to you. I'm gay. I don't want to debate about it, because nothing is going to change the fact that I am gay. But I am also a Christian, and being gay doesn't change that. I love God, and I want to walk with God as he made me and as I am. I would simply like you to pray with me for peace and harmony within my family, if that's okay."

Something like that might be best. You could even write your words down as a little note, and ask him to read it and discuss it with you.