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Accepting yourself

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Flamingo4083, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. Flamingo4083

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    I'm nearly 21 and I've known that I'm am gay for at least 5 years. I feel like I'm almost ready to come out properly but I'm terrified. I feel like I can't expect my friends to accept me if I cannot accept myself. I've stopped denying the truth to myself but that doesn't mean that I'm comfortable with it.

    Nearly 3 months ago I told 2 of my friends but now I feel like I'm not moving forward at all, I need to tell my other friends but I don't know how to get to the point where I'm happy with who I am. Everytime I feel like I'm getting there I get caught in a conversation where I pretend I like boys or I see a happy straight couple in the street and it feels like a slap in the face. The word 'lesbian' still makes me cringe.

    Does anyone else understand what I mean? I know that blocking it out of my mind is not the answer but I feel like I'm can't move forward because I don't know how. I hope this makes sense, when I came out for the first time I thought that everything else would just follow on but life is never that simple! :icon_sad:
     
  2. Lexington

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    It seems one things that often helps is befriend and interacting with other gay people. Doing so gets you used to "talking about gay stuff", for one thing. Also, it helps break through the mental blocks that people sometimes get based on "Gay people are THIS, and I'm not like that".

    Lex
     
  3. FloatingPiano

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    I agree with what Lex said. I was having a lot of trouble excepting myself, too. But I found that hanging out with same people that are going through the same things as you are really helps. It also helps you get used to talking about gay things more, and the more you talk about it, the more comfortable you will become.

    And I know what you mean about saying or hearing the word. Every time I would hear the word lesbian, I would mentally freak out inside.

    Try practicing saying it to yourself, like in the mirror or something. I did that, and over time I got more comfortable with having that word be a part of who I am.

    But also remember, don't over think things too much. It build up a lot of stress. Just go with the flow on things, there's no rush. :grin:
     
  4. Raeil

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    Hi, and welcome to EC.

    I have some great news for you, you're already past the most difficult part of the coming out process. You know you're gay, and now you're actively trying to accept yourself, which means you're past (or didn't have to go through) the complete rejection stage.

    Getting to self-acceptance takes time, so don't worry if it takes longer than you think it should. To move yourself towards it, though, try what's been suggested above (Specifically, I recommend looking at yourself in the mirror and saying "I'm gay, and that's awesome." :slight_smile: ) As you become more comfortable with yourself, you'll find that you accept who you are, and no longer feel ashamed/slapped in the face. It just takes some time, and you will definitely get there! :slight_smile: