Just knowing?

I suppose for me it was a bit of a combination of both. There were some relatively opportune moments for me to come out, and I passed a few of them by because I wasn't ready.

For example, there were a few times that would've been decent for me to come out to my roommate, but I wasn't ready yet. Just recently, we got on the subject of personal matters and problems, and I came out to him. First, it was a pretty good time to do so - we were getting into some pretty heavy subject matter. Second of all, I had the courage necessary to tell him.

There isn't always going to be the perfect moment to come out to someone (in fact, there rarely is), but there usually will be a time that is relatively good. And if you're ready, you'll seize the moment and tell them.

Just remember, you only should come out when you're ready. Don't feel pressured; wait until you're comfortable.

 

Both for me too. Coming out will take courage, and is left for a time when you are comfortable. If you want to do it and the time feels right, muster up the courage.

 

I agree with the above, it's definitely a combination of both. No one I've talked to has said that there was a time when they heard a choir of angels or had a force from inside them tell them "It's time to come out," but there's always a sense of courage and a sense that enough is enough. You usually won't ever get a "perfect" time to come out, but there are a lot of opportune times, and it's mostly being prepared and feeling ready when one of them comes along.

 

i agree with alex2020. some moments you just realize that it's the right time. that moment for me was when i came out to my girl scout troop...we were all talking about really deep stuff, and it was the perfect opportunity.

whereas other times, you are battling with yourself, trying to muster the courage, and hesitating like crazy-- and sometimes you chicken out. but other times you succeed. so it's kind of a toss up.

 

For me every time except for once I had to battle with myself to just say it. Just in my head I'm screaming Do it, do it, do it, do it, and then finally I say it. Afterwards though it is always such a euphoric feeling.

 

In my case, I was to the point where I needed something to change and began thinking about who would be the first person I would tell. I realized my one friend and I had been getting really close, we talked about anything and everything, and she was also very open-minded. After I decided in my head that she would be the first to know, I then began drumming up courage and finding the right circumstance to tell her. For me, it was when I was one-on-one with her at dinner and she opened the perfect segue in the conversation (asked me about my dating experiences).

Just as everyone else has said above, it is a combination of both timing and courage. The best thing to do is to brainstorm about the people in your life that you know would accept you no matter what you told them about yourself. Then worry about finding the "right" way/time to come out to them. Even though recently I have come out to several people and I'm mostly over a lot of the fear I had while I was in the closet, there have still been some times where I've almost come out, but decided it wasn't the right time/place to tell them. It's up to you whether or not it is the right time to tell someone.

Good luck!

 

Over the phone is fine! Good luck! (*hug*)