Homophobia on Campus

Honestly, I wouldn't even dignify that kind of ignorance with a response. It's been my experience with gay & lesbian friends of mine that I hang out with that whenever I've been accused of being or people have just assumed that I am gay to just ignore it. You never know how someone may react, right? You may just intend to say hello, ask if there's a problem or that sort of thing, but to an ignorant, homophobic person, all they see is a gay person up in their face, making them uncomfortable with themselves. And asking the question, 'What's you're problem?' or 'Do you have a problem with me?' could easily be misinterpreted by someone or a group of someones like that as you giving them attitude especially if you're not careful with the tone of voice you ask them in. Best policy, let the insecure little homophobes shoot their little dirty looks & stew in their fear & uncomfy feelings they have, it's them that have the problem, we all know that already, so no use in confirming it. If someone physically assaults you or hurls a slur, on the other hand, then certainly you have the right to say something back, just be careful. It's also been my experience that homophobes always feel braver in groups, so you could easily find yourself in an undesirable position. As for the dirty looks, like I said, ignore them, they're just trying to provoke you anyway. This probably isn't much help, but that's just what I think...

 

I tend to avoid conflict. Nothing good generally comes of it.

If it becomes physical, then you can defend yourself. But otherwise I feel like what Kiersten said is true. Dignifying their actions with a response is not worth it.

 

I would definitely avoid that, yeah. Nothing good can come of it. They're just being ignorant. There will always be ignorant and hateful people out there and sadly we just have to put up with them. It's best to ignore it. I don't think this would turn into a physical situation, but if it does, report it to campus police or something. Best bet is ignoring and avoiding.

 

I agree with the above posters : if they have a problem with you being gay, that's THEIR problem. Whatever you could tell them would be understood as aggressive and provocative and I doubt it will be helpful in anyway. Just let it go, it's not worth the trouble.

Take care (*hug*) Cécile

 

I also think that you should not dignify their reactions by talking to them. Just smile back and walk away. The only time I think a reaction will be justified is when they actually physically confront you, in which case you should try to stay calm and stand your ground. Don't let them bring you down to their level.

 

lol, winking at them always makes things fun. i get reactions like that when i hold hands with my friend and we arent even dating. smile or wink. smiling is better though, cause its less likely to get a negitive reaction.

 

Well...you are probably right that they were giving you a "death glare," but you really don't know why they were looking at you.

I say this because, once, I saw two girls holding hands. One of them saw me looking at them, glared at me, said something that I didn't catch, then kissed her girlfriend deliberately, as if making a point. They walked off laughing. I'm not sure what happened, but I think they thought I was giving them an evil look. If I was, I didn't mean to. Actually, until they reacted that way, I was thinking, "How nice!" But, to them, I probably looked like an older, straight woman, and they made an assumption about me based on my hairstyle and such. (To be honest, I don't know what they were thinking, but that's how it seemed to me.)

My point is, unless people actually say something to you, it's probably less upsetting not to make assumptions about what they are thinking and walk away. Maybe they thought you were talking too loudly. Maybe they thought you were looking at them with distaste. Maybe one of them was thinking something positive. You just don't know (although, unfortunately, I suspect your interpretation is right.)

If they verbally threaten or insult you, that's a different situation because they are directly initiating an interaction. However, even then, for your safety and sanity, you may want to ignore them (or run away.) It depends on how much energy you want to expend, how much risk you want to take, and what you can realistically hope to achieve by engaging with them.

 

I'm usually all for confronting people, but when it comes to looks I really think its best to just ignore it. Smile, don't let them affect your mood and keep going. If you want, and I have done it multiple times, smile at them and say hello. Nothing catches them more off guard than being nice, and since we are conditioned to say hi back, its even funnier when some people wave and say hi to you without even meaning to.

I actually barely notices stares anymore. Too much energy wasted thinking about what other people might or might not be thinking

 

Exactly! Maybe someone behind you had caught their hair on fire, and they weren't staring at you at all!

And just maybe... you were feeling a little self conscious, and you were 'watching' for a reaction. If someone is looking at me, I'll often look back.

Don't sweat it. And don't bother confronting them.