So i've been thinking a whole lot lately about transgender and everything about it..well Let me introduce myself if you don't already know me.My name is Hayden.It's not my birth name but i prefer to go by it and im 17 years old..anyways,lets cut to the point..i've been thinking for awhile about how i may be transgender and its been constantly and i mean CONSTANTLY on my mind.Im always questioning "Am i a BOY or a GIRL?" Its driving me crazy but ive been trying to not think about it TO much because i heard that its easier to find out if you are if you just try not to hink about it to much because its easier to convince urself that ur something that ur not if u think about it all the time..and ive been talking to my best friend that is transgender about it alot lately cuz im just trying to figure htings out and ive been leaning on him for support and all and we both agree that you dont HAVE to feel uncomfortable with your body parts to be transgender.we agree that it is very common for MOST people to be uncomfortable but not ALL people because some people are different.Like with me,im not really all that uncomfortable with my body.i mean sometimes ill just be like"why is this here?" but not alot cuz i dont really pay attention to that stuff..and we also agree that u dont have to be uncomofrtable to get a sex change.u could just get a sex change so that ur outer appereance would match ur gender and everything.does that make sense?i mean i havent really met anyone so far who wasnt uncomfortable yet but im sure some people are like that.im sorry if im confusing u guys with this but i seriouslly hope im not.i want ur guys opinions honestly.i mean idk if im trans but i do like being refered to as a guy.i dont feel uncomfortable when people call me a girl or call me by my birth name but it feels weird and not right and i realized that im much happier when i feel like a guy and look like one..but anyways..opinions please..and if u know anyone who is trans and comfortable with their body still please let me know..peace
Hey Hayden =) I know we've talked about this before a while ago I think but I'm going to comment anyway lol I wish I had more advice for you, but sadly I'm kind of in the same boat. I think the best I can do is let you know is that I relate and I really care. I totally related to what you said about not hating your own gender though. My thoughts are a bit like this. I strongly desire to be a female. Now, a lot of trans people would take offense to something like that by saying something like "well I was always female so that doesn't make sense to say." Well, I can understand that, but in my mind my soul is neither female or male. Not because its androgynous, but because I just don't think souls or consciousnesses really have a gender. Likewise, I don't hate my body. I don't hate my penis just because I'd rather have a vagina. That seems rather silly to me actually. I know I'd rather be a girl than a boy. Where I get kind of sketchy is on deciding if my desires to be female are strong enough to undergo the extreme costs of transition. I really want to be perceived as female, and I feel I would just be perceived by most as a man who butchered myself in an attempt to try to be female. I'm sure my desire to be female puts me somewhere in the transgender umbrella term, but I don't know if transsexual would be my specific gender identity. I hope that helps somewhat. Also, I mean absolutely no offense to any transsexual individuals who have undergone a sexual transition. I have nothing but respect for such people, I just have a lot of conflicting fears and opinions about it.
I would say give yourself time. It is hard to tell if you really are trans or not. Give yourself some time to think about it. And as you said, give yourself time to NOT think about it. You don't want to convince yourself that you are something that you are not. If you are indeed trans, you can transition later, but it will make your life a lot harder if you transition and realize, "hey I'm not trans." I'd say dress in both gender's clothes to see how you feel. You may not be trans and just like crossdressing or something. Good luck!
hey Hayden, i cant really give you advice either, only that "OMW someone else is feeling the same way as me!" coz i have the same questions as u. like seriously, im a "girl" by birth, but even as a young child i wanted to be a boy, i would dress in my bother's clothes, and act like a boy, even now i dress in guys clothes, and enjoy being mistaken as a guy and hate being referred to as a girl by my family. i have thought about sex change alot too, because i just really feel more of a guy than a girl, its like im male trapped in a female body.... sorry its not much advice, just if u need someone you can relate to, im here
jon snow..yea i get what u mean.i strongly desire to be a guy(physically) meaning i have a strong desire for my sex to be ag uy but idk what i am on the inside.i try to think what would i do if i was born with both parts..would i keep the penis and eventually get the vagina removed or if i would keep the vagina and get the penis removed and i would honestly get the vagina removed..its just so confuseing but im glad that im not the only one out here that is feelign liek this.i knwo tht people r here for me but i feel so alone at the same time..idk if that makes sense..and i believe tht u cant undergo surgery unless u think ur gender is a female or male..i dnt think u can if u just only desire for ur sex to be female..i hope im nto confusing u..but also i think all peopel that desire for their sex to be opposite of what they were born with r trans becuz people tht arent always r comfortable with wat their sex is..u know? @foxywolf..yes im tryign my best to not think bout it alot which is hard..but i do stop myself sometiems wen im nto thinking about it and ask myself"do i feel liek a guy or a girl mentally rite now?" and its always guy.do u think thts a good thing to do?cuz whenever i cnt keep myself from thinking about it and think bout it it will be hard to think back at the situations i was in and if i felt liek a guy or not..make sense? @djnay..thank u very much.im glad that i can relate to peopel and that they can relate to me with this..and everything u just said i relate to..all of it.thank u for being here and listening me and ill do the same for u
Give yourself plenty of time. Like several years at least. While I'm proud of transpeople, I really think you need to be sure before doing something so major. Really sure. I went through some times where I felt much more like a female and that switching over would be an option but that went away and I feel much happier just being me & androgynous. Sure you might feel strongly but I did too and it's a permanent decision. "...One day soon, I'm gonna tell the moon about the crying game..."
Thing is, the longer you wait, the more hormones play with your body and turn it to something you might not want it to be. This is why hormone blockers for younger trans people are important. And even if one were to get up and go see a gender therapist RIGHT NOW, it would still take years (most likely) to even get hormones; they're not cheap or easy to get. They make sure that you're sure, before giving you a letter for hormones... surgery, ffgh. That takes even longer. Transsexual =/= transgender (aside from an umbrella term) or androgyny. Transsexuality is a medical condition, and the only real "cure" is to transition in some way. Even if they don't mind looking androgynous, most transsexual people still are firmly male or female, desire to be perceived as such and want a body that at least sort of resembles their mental gender. And that takes a long time, so acting as soon as possibly... it really is a good idea. If someone isn't trans*, they'll know it soon enough. People who aren't FTM aren't going to go through pelvic exams, vaginal ultrasounds, liver ultrasounds, blood tests and doctor after doctor to get hormones or surgery; it takes too much time, effort and money. Me? I was sure from the time I was little. That is just my experience, keep in mind, but I always knew something wasn't right. I had reservations as I grew older, tried to go into denial, and was scared to transition when I finally came out... but if you go to a therapist who knows gender stuff, if you soul search and really be honest with yourself, you'll figure it out soon. I wish I had stopped the denial when I was 10, when I first realized I was a guy. Maybe then I would have had the childhood I should have had. IMO, the sooner a transsexual person gets treated, the better... yeah, people need to make sure that they are sure, but there's always doubt AND the doctors make DAMN sure you are sure. You could also be transgender and not transsexual. This might especially be the case, if you are mostly comfortable with your body. People don't HAVE to get surgery or hormones if they don't want them; there are some transsexuals who don't really want hormones or surgery either, and that's fine. Everyone's journey is a bit different. I'm not going to say you are trans* but I think if you were 100% cisgendered, you wouldn't be questioning it this much. Give yourself time, yes, but I strong advise looking into finding a therapist that might be gender-savvy.
Thank you everyone so much for listening and commenting.i appriciate this so much.i seriouslly do.im just trying to do some true soul searching.its hard though when your so used to how society works.For Example:She has boobs so shes a girl.so im tryign to put it aside and not focus on what i have.im trying to reach within and see what the hell i am.its so confusing and [email protected] does feel liek im beign torn in two.it feels liek im in a constant battle and fighting with myself its confuseing?wat do u feel liek u may be transgender [email protected] do u mean the longer u wait the more hormones can fuck with ur body and turn it int osomething u dont want it to?sorry that part confused me.btw what is cisgender?is it when ur gender matches ur sex?..and idk..if i am transgender i would need to change my sex and be transexual so tht my sex would match my gender.idk why.i just know it though.im not full on uncomfortabel with my female parts but ik i would have to do tht.its hard to explain but i just know it.and i sadly couldnt get gender therapy until bout a year from now cuz of money and everythign sadly so i would be like 18 or 19 beofre i coudl get but sum people dont get a sex change until their 40s.i mean i wouldnt do tht but still.idk.this is all confusing.i wish it wasnt all tht expensive so tht as soon as i was sure i could jump rite into everything but i think its all worth it.
Well, for people who are pre-pubescent... if a transguy gets to hormone blockers soon enough, he can prevent ever having a period, growing boobs, developing fat around the hips, etc. If a transwoman gets to hormone blockers soon enough, she can prevent growing lots of body hair, the voice dropping. Even after puberty, women tend to get more fat around the hips and thighs as they age, and men tend to lose hair on their head. So hormones do affect how you age, to some extent. And if a trans person can get on hormones when they're young, they are a little more likely to have the body they feel they should have as they age. I hope that makes sense. Yep! :] That sucks, but hey... Let's say you are FTM. Let's say when you're 18 or 19, you get therapy and decide to do hormone replacement therapy. At least by then you will be more sure, and the hormones will still work. I didn't get started on T until I was about 20, and I totally pass now. Some people don't get started on HRT until they're much older, so even though it's crap that you have to wait longer to get in to see a therapist, just breathe and soulsearch. At least with things being spendy, it gives you time to really consider what you want.
oh okay i get that.i never even thought about that actually so thank u.ugh now i wished tht i would of questioned this before puberty but liek u said some people get things done at a way older age.all of this is just so hard.i do like girls more then guys though.it just happens.but it feels weird to say that im more of a lez then staraight but it feels more rite to say im more straight then gay.idk its weird.for awile im just goin t o try not to think about it alot and then stop myself sometimes and ask myself if i feel like a guy or a girl and then im going to try to have everyone call me by my birth name and dress a lil more girlish and see hwo that feels for awile and then ima have people call me ny hayden(wich would be my guy name)and everythign and see hwo tht feels.kind of like testign the waters u know?
