I've got quite an interesting dilemma that has popped up--I'm a lesbian, and a girl who used to go to my school has pledged her love for me. But the problem is, one, that she's so far away, and two--that I don't see her that way. She claims her feelings are still as strong as ever and that they won't change anytime soon....and I don't dislike it, but I don't want to lead her on. I've never actually said anything in response, but I might have lead her on a bit--I was very chivalrous towards her and always listened to her problems, comforted her, and thanked her for her feelings towards me since I didn't have the heart to reject her. I don't want to say something stupid or hurt her feelings, but what do I say...? I know for a fact that she's not my type--and besides, when she went to school with me, she's one of those girls who goes through boyfriends/girlfriends like tissues. I don't think I could handle her and her drama very well. >< But we're still friends, and don't want to mess that up!) Advice on how to let her down gently...?
Turning people down is never something to enjoy doing, but it's something that needs to be done. Be gentle, but honest and firm. Let her know that while you enjoy being friends, and will always be there for her to talk to and complain to, you don't have the same feelings towards her that she does for you. Once you've gotten that point across, she may not talk to you for a while (or at all), but that's going to be her choice, and if she values your friendship as much as you do, she'll likely just need a break to compose herself before she's back as usual. I don't guarantee that the above is the best way to handle this, but it's how I would handle this (and is how I've been handled when asking someone out who didn't return my feelings).
