I have been feeling down lately, I´m out to my family, they don´t support me, and I´m out to three friends who are all supportive. What has been bugging me lately is this "Why am I gay?" thought... I´ve found that many gay people on the Internet were fat and so felt ugly, now they are not fat but they're gay... I can relate to that because I used to be REALLY fat Anyway while I was fat I had 3 girls that said to me they would love to be in a relationship with me and even though I was fat I consider myself good looking (I even "dated" one of them but never kissed her or touched her... I simply didn't felt like doing so). So no, I'm not gay because I used to be fat. I also found on the Internet many gay guys don't have male straight friends, wich I can also relate to... I do have male straight friends but I spend most time with my girl friends. (My group at college consists of Me, another boy who is straight and like 15 girls, so on my daily basis I´m surrounded by girls. However... In high school I had more balanced groups and I did hang out with boys, not the jock ones because I'm not really a sports person. So no, I'm not gay because I hang out with girls most of the time... I would really like to meet someone gay in real life. I am currently seeing a therapist and It has helped me but I can't help to feel alone... And no I can't join a PFLAG group because no such thing exists on my country. I would love one existed. Being 20 years old, and a year and a half from finishing college, never been kissed REALLY gets me down... I often think "Perhaps there's something wrong with me and I need to change, I must try to find girls attractive" I'm a "straight looking gay guy" and the friends I came out to said they would have never imagined I am gay. So this also makes it difficult, because no one considers myself gay and I can't spot any other gay guys like me... How do you get to know gay guys? Thanks for reading through all of this rant I'd love to hear what you think...
Honey I'd say to getting to know gay guys, maybe see if your college has a group for gay youth, like the Pride club or whatever it may be called at your school. Most are often non-cliquey so it shouldn't be too difficult to meet some gay men. As for the whole no kiss at 20? Well hun, you'd be surprised how many guys on here haven't had a kiss and some are 24, 26, etc. So trust me, you are not alone with that aspect. Besides you should save even your first kiss for a guy you really like, because after all, a first kiss is kinda a life changer least for me it was.
Ummmmm.... Where did this "being fat makes you gay" idea come from exactly? I think some of my extra pounds were put on because I wasn't comfortable being attractive to men, but that would be sort of the opposite of what you are saying. Gay guys sometimes prefer friendships with women, but that isn't what makes them gay. None of that stuff could even possibly be the cause of homosexuality, I don't think. ("Fat makes you gay" is definitely a new one for me...) The current theory is that sexual orientation is biological; more specifically, it has to do with the way the brain develops before birth. This is influenced by multiple factors, including hormones and genetics. I'm 32, and I've never been kissed either. I just linked to this in another post, but see http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/44994-never-been-kissed.html for more people who have never been kissed. It's not unheard of, especially if you are gay and you haven't been out long. I mean, who would we have been kissing? Is there a student organization for gay people at your university? Look up activities for gay people in your area; what's available will depend on where you live.
This is totally hypothetical.. and I do sympathise with you as I used to be overweight.. but looking back, a lot of that overeating was from dissatisfaction and partly being closeted. Maybe that's an insight, I don't know? Sometimes, and I find this more and more.. you have to get out and change your life to meet different people, and gay people alike. Expand upon a hobby, branch outside your friendship circles, go join a club or even get out and experience some night life. You get out of life what you put into it. Don't become too confused. You have a lot of female friends now, branch out and make an effort to meet some guys. The more people you know, the more channels and circles you have access to be in. Work with what you got, university has lots of peoples to meet and greet with.
