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I can't make up my mind

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rachel1423, Oct 22, 2011.

  1. rachel1423

    rachel1423 Guest

    So I haven't been posting as much lately.
    For the past week or so, I have been focusing less on girls, and now I'm focusing more on guys. This always happens to me! One day I wont be as interested in guys, and the next I couldnt imagine being with a girl.

    I'm not sure, but it might have something to do with the fact that I fully came out to my best friend. Before he knew that I had a thing for one girl... but I told him that I could never possibly be gay and that it was just some weird phase probably. But now I admitted that I'm bi.

    The next day I felt very relieved! It was the first time I came out. But I also felt a little awkward, even though he is gay too. I felt somewhat ashamed. I kept freaking out, wondering if he told our other best friend, who is a straight girl. I couldn't imagine telling her.

    Since then, I've been boy crazy. I met this guy that I'm really interested in, and my attention towards girls is dissipating, but I don't know for how long. I don't know what to think!

    :eusa_doh:
     
  2. climbingivy

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    Yeah, I've had kind of a similar thing even though I'm not out at all. I told my therapist I thought I was a lesbian and then the rest of the week all I could notice were hot guys and the memories of all these crushes I'd had on guys came flooding back. Then, when I told myself I was for sure bi all I could remember/notice were crushes on girls. Not sure what that is.
     
  3. Ianthe

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    Bisexuals often report having swinging phases of noticing one gender more than others. I have especially heard this from female bisexuals, but that might be just because of who I've talked to personally.

    But it seems to be a normal part of bisexuality.

    In some cases, it seems like when there is someone in particular that the bisexual person is interested in, she or he will focus more on similar people. Like, if there's a guy you like, you will notice guys more , but if there's a girl that is the person you are the most interested in, you will think about and notice girls more.

    But I don't know about this personally, just from what bisexual people have told me.
     
  4. J Snow

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    I have also heard something similar to what Ianthe described. A lot of bisexuals report (and really I was kind of the same way with my attractions before I met my bf) that they will feel more attracted to one sex for a period of time and then it will the other for a period of time, kind of like a cycle.

    Of course this is only preference and you shouldn't interpret this to mean that you can't hold down a long lasting relationship with people of either gender. My speculation is you wouldn't even notice it if you were truly infatuated with someone.
     
  5. Fiddledeedee

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    I am the same way: I am, to quote someone on here who I can't remember, "on a tyre swing between Kinsey 2 and 4." When I was first questioning, I was 2, then after a few weeks I was 4, currently I am 2 but was 3 recently, etc.. It is normal and just the was it is for some people. You are not strange, and the swings might settle with time, but they might not; wait and see. :slight_smile: