I've spent the last day (literally 24 hours) thinking deeply about coming out to my family (family as in my mother, father, and sister) and I've decided that I'm ready, and they need to know before I head off next year for boarding school. I'm not asking for word-by-word 'what to say' on this, all I want is some tips on what I could say, a good time to do it, and where to do it.
do it in person, during a non-drama filled time. I would just go for it "So... I'm gay" out of nowhere... but that's just me
I don't know what your family's views on homosexuality are but the route I recommend for people whose parents may not be accepting is to come out to siblings first. Or whoever it is in your family that is most likely to be accepting because then you have someone for support when you tell the others. But if you're comfortable enough to tell everyone all at once that's cool too. Try and do it during a "happy time". Also when you're ready to answer questions and have a discussion about it. Don't do it during a stressful time or in the middle of an argument. And make sure you are prepared if things don't go the way you want them to.
Why do they need to know before you head off to boarding school? Are you going to come out at boarding school? Who would you be more comfortable coming out to, to your friends at boarding school or to your parents at home?
Chances are I'm not going to stay in contact with them after I graduate & keeping in contact with them out of country will be difficult. Also I'm basically a loner, I have 5 friends that I've known since preschool which was the year before I went into homeschooling so the chances of me making friends in school next year are as low as hell.
I've heard that the dinner table is one of the worst places to do it. Parents will often be stressed from work may react less well than at other times. If you plan to say it instead of writing a letter or something, then you may want to consider a weekend when everyone is relaxed. Make sure you phrase your statement in a way that makes it clear you are open to questions and discussion, and that it doesn't sound agressive in any way.
I also got to say the weekend is one of the best times to do it cause every one is for the most part relaxing. But if things dont feel right back away and wait for the right time. Dont push yourself. Best of luck hope everthing goes great.
I completely agree with anyone who's said "don't say it during a stressful time", and I won't repeat their reasons. That's beating a dead horse. I say pursue the time to do so. For example, if your dad's just sitting on the couch, and he doesn't seem to be stressed, bring up the topic, and then tell him. I've known a couple friends and myself to tell a parent in the car. Obviously, don't do it when there's lots of honking going on, and you're -stuck- in the middle of the Expressway, trying to get somewhere in the next 10 minutes, even though that won't happen. But really, the time should be yours to take. Those above are just suggestions.
