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Desperate?May I Say Yes?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by just b urself, Oct 25, 2011.

  1. just b urself

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    Okay ive posted thread after thread after thread about the same subject basically but its hard not to do just that.I am questioning if im transgender..sure am..and thigns just seem to be gettingn othign but worst..its so confusing and im falling into a depression because of it and i can feel it..more and more everyday..i just break down and cry and feel liek i cant go on anymore but then sometimes im a littlem ore optimistic but when i think about how confused i am if im trans or not thats when i just get way more depressed..plus it makes it worst that im the kind of person that i liek HAVE to know things and until i know it it bugs me to death and since ive been questioning my gender its all i can think about and its eating me alive.i know that their are tons of peopel out here that were born the wrong sex but i wasj ust wondering..is their any out their rightn ow that is reading this right now that feels the exact same way i do?i mean i knwo its hard for everyone but idk if theirs nayone out their that goes this crazy about it and falls into a depression with it..also wat do u think is the difference between ur gender being a boy and being just a tomboy?thats my biggest issue..liek i try my best to not think about it and wen im actually not ill stop myself for a sex and ask myself if i feel liek a boy or a girl and i always answer with boy but couldnt tht just mean tht im a tomboy tht feels liek a boy?idk..i just dont know..and also when i picture myself being on stage(i want to be a musician btw)i always picture myself appearing as a guy but that just could be a thing with me idk..well..idk
     
  2. WydenEmmie

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    I can't really offer any advice on this, but do you have a hobby? Like something that you really enjoy doing? Maybe it will keep your mind off of things. Or hang out with friends a talk about happy stuff. I know it's hard, but you need to really set your train of thoughts on happy mode. Whenever I feel like the world is going to crash on me, I go for a walk. The sounds of nature really calm me down and remind me that I can do whatever I set my mind to. So, the main thing here is occupy yourself with people and things that will entertain your mind and overrun your thoughts. I guess I would say this relates to "If you focus on something else, you won't feel a thing", like in the doctor's office getting a shot (if needles bother you, at least). I hope that makes sense. (*hug*)
     
  3. silverhalo

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    I agree with everything WydenEmmie says, you have to try and keep your mind off it a little bit just to give yourself some rest, that said its not easy. Im certain there are other people out there that feel exactly like you, you just havent found one yet.

    Ultimately only you can know whether or not you are transgendered but looking at what you have said I think that it is a definate possibility. I am quite a tomboy, I dont really wear make up or skirts, the very occassional dress but only if im going to a wedding or ball. I like to wear jeans and scruffy clothes, play on the wii or go and watch soccer matches rather than have a girly night in or paint my nails or do my hair, however I dont feel like a boy, the thought that it would be easier if I was a boy has crossed my mind but I wouldnt say I feel like a boy.

    Obviously in an ideal world it would be good if you could talk to someone proffessionally trained to deal with this kind of stuff but that is not always easy. If possible maybe you could try and buy some boys clothes and when you get the opportunity and nobody is around or if you can be somewhere where there is nobody you know, you could spend a short period of time as a guy and see how that makes you feel.

    I am not transgendered and so feel that I probably cant give you the best advice, but I do believe there are quite a few transgendered people on EC at the moment who are perhaps further down the line and im sure they would be only to happy to discuss what they went through with you.

    Try and keep your chin up, it will get better.
     
  4. Jim1454

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    Obsessing about anything isn't healthy or productive. No matter how important or life altering the subject might be. So I'd say before you're going to be able to figure out whether or not you're transgendered, you're going to have to figure out how to settle down a little on the topic.

    Have you talked to parents, teachers, your doctor, or a counsellor about this topic or about how obsessed you are with this topic? If not, then it's time. Driving yourself crazy over this isn't going to do you or anyone else any good.

    I say this because if you've posted it here over and over, you've likely received some good advice from us already, and yet you're still bothered by this. So it's time to take a different approach. You're not going to find the answer here. You'll need to find it within yourself. And you'll only be able to do that once you've found some serenity and calmness. Until you've got there, don't even attempt to figure this out. Take a break. Allow yourself 2 months to not contemplate this. Decide that for the next 2 months, it doesn't matter. (Because to be honest, over the next 2 months, it probably doesn't matter. You can carry on doing what you're doing without having this resolved.)

    Try that. But get some help too.
     
  5. MommaFrog

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    I have always been a "tomboy" My mom used to encourage me to do things like baton, dance, gymnastics, things like that. I always wanted to play soccer, do karate, play football, things like that. But I have never thought of myself as a boy. I have always been a girl, I LIKE dresses, I LIKE heels, but not all the time. On a day to day basis, I prefer jeans and a loose shirt!

    IF you feel like a boy, maybe you ARE a boy. No one can answer this but you.
     
  6. just b urself

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    @wydenemmie..yea i have little hobbies liek listening to music,playing the drums,writing songs,and playing soccer or basketball..and yea,that all makes sense to me.i need to try my best to calm myself and do things to make me nto think about it as much.thank very much man.much appriciated.
    @silverhalo..well the thing is,i already wear nothing but guy clothes..i wear guy shirts..guy shorts..boxers..i wear it all.i never wear girl clothes.i dont do dresses,definettly not.i dont like to dress up but if i did id wear a tux.i did make a profile as my guy name that i would liek which is hayden but its just hard to tell cuz not alot of people even say my name wen i talk to them which i hate cuz i neevr get a feel of how it feels to much.and i cnt talk to a gender therapist or anythign liek that until awhile becuz i dont have that kind of money and cuz of parent..thank u for ur positiveness(i dont even think thats a word lol)life is so confusing,u know that?
    @jim1454..ya ik its not but thats my problem..ive always been the kind of person to constantly worry.even wen i was younger and constantly obsess over things.its hard to stop it.well i cant talk to teachers cuz i graduated from high school like a yr earlier then i was supposed to.i dont have a counselor..cant afford one..and my parent wouldnt understand and hes judge me and just everything.thats why i didnt want to come out to him till i moved out if i am really a boy..i mean i do have a best friend who is trans and that is very helpful but it would also be great if i could seek greater help than that but i cant and i dont think my family would be able to give any of that to me either.ur right tho..i need to take a break from this.ill start in a couple of weeks from now cuz im going to first try shaving again and wear tighter shirts and go by my birth name to see how that makes me feel and then ill take ur advice.ima try my best..i wont look at any vids bout it or anything.the most i will do is stop myself every once in awile and ask myself if i feel liek a boy ora girl.
    @mommafrog..ya ive always been guyish.wen i was bout 7 i got a boys haircut and always loved playing sports and getting dirty and everything liek that and i wear nothing but guy clothes.i cant wear girl clothes it feels weird.but thanks :slight_smile: