Is it wrong to date an ex of a good friend? The guy I've been talking to is amazing, and he & I have much in common- to the point where I feel that passing on him would be a mistake. We've been talking for about two weeks, and a couple days ago we agreed to meet in person. We hadn't traded pictures prior to agreeing to meet, so when I saw his picture I was surprised to see that it was my friend's ex. My first reaction was to stop talking to the guy, since I feel like I was betraying my friend. My friend and the guy I like dated for about 6 months, breaking up around a year & 1/2 ago. I know the guy I like does not want anything with my friend, but on the flip side I know my friend still has feelings for the guy. He (my friend) had just texted me a few days ago, mentioning that he still wasn't over the guy I'm interested in. But after thinking it over, I kinda feel like enough time has passed that I'm not doing anything wrong. If I was to like the guy in person, I know I would talk it over with my friend before beginning a relationship with the guy. I've talked to my friend – briefly- about what he thinks of someone dating their friend's ex, and so far he's encouraged me to go for it. Yet, he doesn't know I'm talking about his ex, and while I feel horrible for misleading him, I still feel that I'm in the right. My friend has some stability issues, and while I know he loves me and wants the best for me, I know he wouldn't do well with this information. In the end, I'm really unsure what to do . I care about my friend, but I just can't imagine letting this guy go without a shot. Any advice?
If you decide to pursue this relationship, you might wanna run this through with your friend beforehand because it would hurt him even more if he finds out after you guys have started dating. Problem with doing that is that you run a great risk of losing your best friend as he seems unable to move on and cope with his loss. It's a sticky situation and you might have to sit down and make the decision.
I fell for a friend's ex not long ago. It ended badly. It was the same kind of dynamic - one person still not being over the other, and the other having moved on some time ago - although the one I was crushing on was the one who still had feelings for her ex. I basically ended up losing both of them, the one I liked because she wasn't over her ex and I was too much of a reminder of her, and the one I was friends with first because the whole thing made her really uncomfortable. It can work. However, if your friend still isn't over this guy, you do run the risk of losing his friendship, and you might feel pretty guilty if you keep it from him.
