So as a few of you may know, I'm out to only a very select few people, but have summoned the courage by now to try online local gay dating. Posted my photo on there, and in trying to talk to other local guys, I've been profoundly disappointed.. I hope it's not the case that gay guys in real life are as picky and often downright mean (e.g., "fuck off, you fugly creep", etc, when I merely said "hello") as they are on these dating sites. Can anyone confirm my view that such dating sites probably do not reflect the broader reality out there?
Like in the straight community, in the gay community, there can be the downright rude, bitchy and even racist people in the LGBT people. In fact, the only guarantee you have is that the people you're looking at aren't homophobic. Considering it is a dating site, you are going to find people like that.
Oh wow. In all my years on online dating I've never heard such rude language. Don't really know about your area but the people I've met are generally polite. It helps to read their profile and see if they're superficial or pleasantly nice.
I agree with the advice that you try to get a sense of what that person is like and what they're looking for from their profile first - before engaging them. If their profile is obviously superficial and shallow, and they list all the things they're looking for in a guy and all the things they won't tollerate in a guy, then you might want to save your effort and move on. Online dating is tough, although incredibly popular, so you might as well give it a shot. Be sure that your own profile reflects what you're really looking for too. Be honest and let people know where you're at and what you're looking for. I'm sure there's someone out there who is a good match for you. It's just a matter of finding them.
My brother the other day told me that a room-mate of a girl he knows is a 21 year old gay guy, and my brother proposed to introduce him to me... I declined, because even though im out to my brother, it just felt awkward for my straight older brother to try being my wingman for gay dates, LOL. Now I regret saying no, should I just ask me brother again about that?
YES! What in the world do you have to lose?!? Now, keep in mind, that just because he's another gay man does NOT mean that the two of you should automatically hit it off! We're as diverse as straight people are. So you might want to ask your brother a little bit more about this other guy - what his interests are, etc. But regardless, it likely wouldn't hurt to meet him for coffee. I found having a gay friend in real life that I could go to the movies with and just hang out with was nice.
My brother said that "you might not like that he's a bit flamboyant", which is part of the reason I said no.. But I've decided that a little/mild flamboyance in a guy is alright. It's the overly apparent/strong flamboyance that I would not be able to find amendable in a relationship-type situation. But everyone has their quirky side, I have no issue with that...
>>>I hope it's not the case that gay guys in real life are as picky and often downright mean (e.g., "fuck off, you fugly creep", etc, when I merely said "hello")... "Judgmental". >>>My brother said that "you might not like that he's a bit flamboyant", which is part of the reason I said no.. But I've decided that a little/mild flamboyance in a guy is alright. It's the overly apparent/strong flamboyance that I would not be able to find amendable in a relationship-type situation. "Having standards". Lex
Thanks for the encouragement. I'm just DYING to get into a relationship or start dating, now that a few important people in my life know my "secret." If it gets serious, my parents would eventually have to know the truth of course..
I want a boy friend too! Let's see who gets one first!. Hahah jk. Have fun and i hope you find someone that makes you happy.
Don't be disuaded by a few idiots out there. You'll be fine. Online dating is like a lot of things, fake. Try meeting a few other gay people and you'll find out they aren't all like that! Good luck!
