I'm 15, a sophomore in high school, and an openly bi guy. I have a close friend named Andrew, and we've been close since freshman year. Sometimes he'd do gay things to me, but after I came out to him this past February. I remember that after I came out to him as bi I said "Got a problem with that?" and he said "No, no it's fine" so it's great he was accepting of me. Well since we're close he always friendly flirts with me, but it's always in front of someone or a group of people. Since we have the same history class, he always used to friendly flirt with me. He's always tell me stuff like "You're beautiful" and I'd always play it off, even though I have a major crush on Andrew and I think it's awesome he called me beautiful. However, like all guys in my school, I think he's str8 and kidding around with me, even though he knows I'm bi. But I'm not going to assume anything since I don't know his sexuality, and I don't want to assume he's straight either. Because on his Facebook once I saw that as his Interested In log he had men and women, so I assumed he was bi like me. Thus, I talked to him on chat and I asked him if he was bi and he said no; so I said sorry and he replied with a heart which is also cute. So if he friendly flirts with me again, how can I flirt back in a way that satisfies my mind and in a way where he knows I'm joking? (If he's kidding) And if he likes me, how can I flirt flirt?
what do you mean when you say "he does gay things with you"? be more specific. and if you ask me, i think he's in the closet.
Maybe the "are you bi" "no" ment that he's gay, not bi... Just saying, that was my first thought.... I don't think theres a way to flirt without flirting.... its the nature of flirting....
You have to take in consideration that he may also be the kind of guy that is very satisfied with his orientation and that simply doesn't care about doing this kind of joke in front of people, which is the complete opposite of "being in the closet", whoever, i have met guys who were just like that, who also liked guys. Yeah Its confusing o.o ... well...i guess the only way to know is to ask him or something, ^ that is the best advice i can give. i don't know what you can do about the situation, but i'm sure someone else will give a better advice on this... Good luck ^^
So you want to say something that will look like "joking" if he's not interested, but look like "interested" if he's interested. Is that possible? Yes. But it's not easy to do. It's kind of a skill, much like getting good at telling jokes, or spinning a good story. It involves finding vague openings to nudge things forward, without pushing too hard. And like most skills, I'm afraid to say, practice makes perfect. So you might flounder quite a bit at the outset, and you might very well push too hard and freak him out. But if you play it slow and smooth, it's possible you'll find out what you want to find out. Examples? OK. He said "You're beautiful." To that, you could say "Wow. That's really nice of you to say. Especially coming from somebody as good-looking as you." Said with a smile, that isn't pushing the game ahead too far. You're more or less returning ("good-looking") what you got ("beautiful"), so you should be on safe ground. You: I saw you listed as "interested in men and women" on FB. Does that mean you're bi? Him: No. You: Oh. I'm sorry. Him: <3 You: Aw, thanks. Although I'd prefer a heart from somebody I've actually got a shot with. See, it's possible to nudge things along without sounding too pushy. If he's interested, he can move these things forward. If he's not, he'll just let them be. Lex
Thanks Lex. What I forgot to add is that he would always flirt with me in history class in front of people; and also that his friend (who I don't like) sits near me and so he sits with his friend; his friend sits 2 rows behind me. So Andrew always sits in the middle empty row in between me and [his friend] Paul. Now, once he told me I'm "beautiful" I told him "Thank you". And I said that without acknowledging my fear of homophobic comments from str8 people. So when his friend said "He's gay as hell" (he doesn't know I'm bi and I don't want him to) and me and Andrew said nothing. If no one was in the room--at that time we were in history class so everybody was there when he said it but I was lucky no one heard us--I would've been so obsessed with Andrew (not would've been, just "I'm") that I would've kissed him. Since I have a massive crush on him....
Understood. But if he's going to call you "beautiful", you can probably find a way to say something back without tipping your hand too much. "Thanks - you're not so bad-looking yourself" might work. Lex
