Is it normal to become girlier after coming out as lesbian

Maybe you are consciously or subconsciously trying to be more femme because you don't want to be stereotyped as a masculine lesbian? And/or you hope to make people more comfortable with your newly-revealed sexuality by "playing it down" a bit?

When I first started coming out I felt pressure to be pretty and femme because I thought in some way that would allow people to accept me more easily. Then as I came out to more people, and met more LGBT folk, I felt pressure to play up my more androgynous side in order to fit in. Now I'm happy to look however I feel like looking on any given day.

 

it's possible you felt some unconcious need to be that way because you wanted to tell everyone you were gay but didn't know how.

Now they you're out that need is gone, so your settling into different way of being

 

i think it would be impossible to define any one thing as "normal," since there is such a wide range of experience in terms of coming out. as long as you are comfortable being the way you are, i'd say that's all that matters personally, i don't think i've changed one way or the other since coming out. i have - and have always had - long hair, and wear mostly skirts and dresses, but i hate high heels and rarely wear makeup. none of that has changed. the only thing that has changed is that my collection of zany socks now includes tube socks with rainbow stripes at the top

 

People often have some changes after coming out. That is because you have accepted yourself and are becoming comfortable with who you are.

So feel free to be yourself. You don't have to live up to some stereotype or try to be someone you aren't.

 

This is what I thought exactly as I read your initial post.

 

The same thing happened to me...
Now that I'm more accepting of my sexuality, I'm feeling more okay with being girly. For me I think it was a combination of things : 1) I wasn't comfortable in my own skin because of my orientation and self denial 2) I didn't want to be hit on, so I didn't care how I looked. 3) Now I'm like: Oh..crap..well.. a girl IS going to notice if I don't XYZ with my hair or ABC with this piece of clothing and that ... And I want girls to notice me...hmmm..


...I dunno, :lol:

 

Or maybe, just maybe, now that you're out of the closet you feel like you can be more of yourself? Not all lesbians are masculine or fit neatly into stereotypes. Some are feminine.

 

Once I first started coming out to people, I began to see myself as more masculine that I did before.

 

Just let things be. If it is a natural change, i guess this is called normal.

 

I don't know, maybe now you feel like you have nothing to prove-like you don't have to 'give off the vibe' you're gay, well, because to said so.

So now you can do what you want

 

I went through the same thing. For me I dressed less girly so that guys wouldn't be attracted to me. I wasn't ready to come out but wanted guys to stay far away, lol. And then when I came out more I wanted girls to notice me like you all said. I wanted to be pretty to girls.