Lately my mom has been acting very weird and she´s like very worried about me. So the other day my parents took me to a restaurant, and then my dad told me that he and my mom were worried about me cause Ive been acting different. So he said, "so what is it? are you on drugs? are you drinking alot? did you turn gay?.... I didnt expect that last one at all!! I know I could have said, well I am. But I couldnt!!! I was to scared! :icon_sad: I said I was alright, and then he said to my mom, "see I told you you didnt have to worry about him being gay" So now I have officially decided Im not going to tell them until I have a boyfriend. :rolle:
hmm - sounds to me like you had a missed opportunity. If it were me, I'd consider coming out to them on your terms. Invite them out for dinner again, and bring it up in a calm environment. At least that way it won't feel like an intervention! I think if you nip it in the bud sooner rather than later all will be fine. They are your parents afterall, and the fact they are showing a genuine concern is great. They most likely want to know that you aren't drinking or on drugs - your health is more important than your sexual orientation from a parents point of view (well most cases I'd hope). Waiting for a boyfriend is not necessarily the next step. To have a boyfriend, it is best that you accept yourself and have support from those around you - without that security it is more difficult. I hope you work it out, but I think you are going to do just fine next time around! I would discuss it with your mother first, as she seems to have that sneaking suspicion already and will most likely be supportive.. the fact she invited you to the dinner shows that she wants honesty, and really she deserves it.
Don't know your backstory, but openings don't come any better than that. If you want to take that as your "now I can't tell them until I actually have a boyfriend", you're welcome to. (Hey, you can keep not telling them even after that if you so desire.) But if you've wanted them to know, there's nothing wrong with saying "You caught me off guard that night. But yes, I'm gay." Lex
Its not that I dont want them to know, but they are very homophobic, my mom wanted to know if I was because my sister suspected it (she is also extremely homophobic) and told her, so she started worrying about it because its a sin, and its disgusting and if I were, I would need help. When she mentions gay people, besides making faces, she insists that gathey are not born gay, they turn gay because of something. Imagine if I told her, my relationship with her, and my dad, would change forever and its pretty good right now, but still Im lying to them. I hate this.
Hey there Kyle, I'm very sorry to hear that your family is homophobic. I'm not out to my family either for very similar reasons, and even at 21 years old I'm struggling with the way they brought me up to think about homosexuality. Like you, I've been taught that it's morally wrong and a sin...And all of those silly, awful adjectives that are accompanied with homosexuality. Yep, I'm there too. You're not alone, but anyway- let's focus on your concerns: 1) You don't want to lie to them, This is admirable. Very much so, I hope you keep this quality about you It's a good one to have. 2) ARE you ready to come out to them? Do you have a support system? Etc... Don't force yourself out of the closet; come out when you're ready. We'll be here to encourage you, support you, and help you along the way. In the meantime, Kyle, remember : You are a likable, lovable, deserving human being. You deserve respect, happiness, and contentment. I know that when you hear them talk about gay people in homophobic way, it probably hurts...but try to not let yourself say "Oh..this means I"M __*insert their insult*___" I could be way off base here, but I'm speaking to you out of my heart because I'm there right now but in a different way. My dad confronted me about being gay and I started bawling in fear! He still loves me...but he wants me to go to a 12-step program to change me.:rolle: (Won't be happening) All in all.... he's coming around. There's hope for you, too. (*hug*)
