So I came out to my family on July but they didn´t accepted it and never talk about it with me... Today I talked to my sister about homosexuality and apart from being called transtorned (is that an english word? what she meant is I have a mentall problem) She said I was pushing my family too hard on the homosexuality topic and that they needed time because right now they feel sad and feel a loss i can´t understand. Wich seems logic. So I have decided to give them time (I have to be the prudent one) I just feel that if I act like them, like nothing happened they will forget about it and think I have done so too. So... Have you experienced something similar with your families? How much time do you think they need?
Hey there, I don't have an exact statistic to give you; all I can tell you is that it'll take different amounts of time for different people. It depends on the strength of your relationship to the person, their views on homosexuality, and how they cope with things in life. In a really bizarre way your family kind of 'is' grieving over the 'loss' of who they thought you were. They're going to have to get to know you again in a way. ( This is more of a "food for thought" statement than anything else) They'll go through stages like, Denial, Anger, ..(what comes next, guys, help me out).. bargaining, acceptance. It'll take time. I wouldn't try to push them too often because they're trying to digest this news about you. You've had some time to really think and mull it over and deal with it internally. They've got to do something similar in their own way. I can't tell you exactly how long it'll take. Some people are okay in a few days, some take a few years, some take many years. It'll depend. I'm not out to my family (just my dad who "guessed" and wants to send me to a Gay-to-Straight Program) So I can't give you any personal experience really... I hope this was helpful somehow. Goodluck
im sorry to hear they reacted like that, and you do not have a mental problem. some people need a bit of time to process things, and some people just cant understand or accept. time may help but dont let them make feel like you have to act like them and make them forget, you are who you are and hopefully they will come to terms with that and accept it. its hard to say how much time they will need, everyone is different but dont change who you are because of them, and you have done nothing wrong in telling them. i have a similar situation where i finally told my dad that i was bisexual and he was intent on making me believe it was just a phase that i will get over and that i'm too young to know what i want, he still hasnt accepted it, but im giving him time.
im in one of those situations right not but i feel like it isnt as serious as your one, it's in the zone where you should not be spoken about, but nearly everyone knows, my mum finds it really hard to support me, but she always tells me she loves all the time and more than usuall, its getting kinda annoying. my dad on the other hand thinks he can change me, and forbids me to tell my older brothers, my dad doesnt understand what being gay is about, he thinks its a choice, and only stupid people would make that choice, so it's never really spoken about.
Hello, Most of the time, when we become greatly upset we just want time to ourselves to think so that we may calm down, and resolve the issue. The loss of a loved one, a broken heart, etc. are all examples of situations in which we feel like we want to be left alone to our thoughts, and the last thing we want is for someone to force us to get over it or to talk about it. Your family is obviously greatly upset, so what i would suggest is for you to give them a lot of space and avoid any confrontations. You definitely don't wanna upset them any more so avoid bringing up the subject or forcing them to talk it out, because now that it's out and caused them hurt, it's time for them to heal, and only until they're ready to move on, is when they will approach you or begin behaving like so. Rather, through your behavior, express that you understand that they need time to heal and show them you care about their feelings, in a subtle manner, because you still wanna keep a healthy relationship with them. Never apologize to them for you who are, and maintain a confident attitude, so that they realize you are in control of your life, and that this is a reality they'll need to accept. Give them, their time and privacy, and get a feel of how the situation is developing by keeping an eye on their behavior so that you can act accordingly. I really hope your family comes around.
They're not feeling a loss you can't understand... You felt that loss before they did, you were the one who had to deal with that loss and accept it yourself first. They may need time, but that doesn't mean they need more time with you pretending to be straight or anything. My family didn't take it as well as I had hoped either, but I didn't drop it because I knew that would just lead them to ignore it. Just remember, this isn't something they should ignore. They need time, but they need you to be yourself so they can use that time to get used to you, not get over their old expectations of your future. Be yourself. If you want to bring up the homosexuality thing again, do it. They are adults, they will survive their child being gay.
