1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Just asking for help-Finding my first, slight signals

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BlueBoyXTJ, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. BlueBoyXTJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well I'll introduce myself. I'm a male that goes to a high school in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I found out I was gay in 6th grade at about the age of 13, but I denied it until I was 16. Right now I'm 17. I come to this site seeking to relieve my stress in a small way so that I could enjoy my life and not be so bent on keeping my feelings inside of me. I get extremely infatuated at times when I'm around a certain guy. It shows slightly because I act in REALLY weird ways compared to my normal acts. Enough about that, but If you want to know more about myself just PM me. I'll talk about whats been going on with me recently and try to update this.

    October 2011


    Today was just the average day. A boring day at school but its always my first period that gets me thinking about things the rest of the day. Recently this guy just transfered to my school and entered my classroom. I never really looked at him because I thought he was just another brute with no personality that does and says absurd things to women and other people. Hes spoken with me over the past few weeks and we have made slight eye contact at times, but recently something has changed about him. I looked at his face one day and his body. I thought he was just beautiful. My type. A guy really tall, very manly big hands, large shoe size, likes sports, loud at times, loves to laugh and etc. As I helped him my voice weakened. My emotions began to show. Hence me being a very emotionless person when no one is making jokes. I look straight and down at my desk a lot. One day I tried to etch my eyes slightly between his legs, :lol: a little horny I know, but he was usually talking to alot of the girls in class but I think he saw me looking at his leg that day. I stopped and cleared my head. Thinking he doesn't like me. Hes not gay, etc. Over the next few days my eyes slided over there and I looked for periods of time, so that I would catch his attention. I think he asked me whats wrong one day. I replied quickly. Nothing. My sentences are usually longer than that, but whenever I talk to him. I can only speak 1 or 2 words. I looked him again one day. He began to open his legs extremely widely and look at my direction. It almost looks as like he was begging me, "come to me". I think tomorrow I'm going to ask him can I be his study partner since we both take the same classes together. I need help on approaching this subject. I'm not very good socially. I Isolated myself from the social life in 8th grade because of my feelings and because I was always a very sleepy person. I would stay up all night playing games, listening to music, watching videos. I'll give a brief summary of his personality. He likes to talk, he laughs alot, hes really loud lol, he seems to be a good guy, he listens to a lot of rap, he repeats rap lyrics a lot lol.
     
  2. Wolfgirl90

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Hey there, welcome to EC :slight_smile: I'd suggest trying to bring up the idea somethin like this..

    You: Hey [insert his name, or 'man', or however else you get his attention verbally], do you get what's going on in __[insert difficult class]___?
    Him: [ He replies ]


    He either gets the subject, or doesn't

    ..if he understands it:
    A)
    Him: Yeah, it's not too bad.
    You: Could you explain it to me sometime after school? I need to do well on the [insert assignment, or test]


    And you go from there...if he DOESN"T understand the subject you asked about...

    B) Him: I don't get it either.
    You: Yeah. It's kinda stupid; hey, you want someone to study with later for the [insert test or assignment] ? I dunno about you, but I could use the help.




    Maybe something like that? x.o ....
     
  3. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC!

    Asking if he would be interested in being a study buddy is probably a good way to go about it. That said, I wouldn't put too much stock into whatever answer he gives you. Just because he's agreeable to studying with you doesn't mean he wants to be your boyfriend, or even wants to be good friends with you. So proceed slowly and carefully, and prepare yourself in case he doesn't.

    Lex
     
  4. Wolfgirl90

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Well said *nod nod*:thumbsup:

    I completely forgot to mention anything about that x_x; Lex is spot on with this: Study-buddy =/= guaranteed romantic interest.


    So.... +1 to Lex's reply.
     
  5. ballin1718

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    interesting....im curious to see how this turns out lololol. good luck, i say go for it because I think hes into you. The guy sounds a lot like me, you would never think I like guys but I do so hahaha. Hopefully all goes well!
     
  6. Johnjohn2

    Johnjohn2 Guest

    Guard your feeling first. Being a rather isolated person myself in the past, I understand how you feel. We are somewhat emotional inside, so before approaching him, you need to sort out what is inside you first. You need to love yourself more, think positively of yourself. There are things you need to work out if you really like the guy and he is worth it. You need to spend less time in habits that makes you feel sleepy. You said he is sporty. You can try to find out what sport he likes and about the study things, spend your time more in studying, so you will become a more desirable study-partner.

    I told you this because I know that rejection or perceived humiliation from him may break you and your isolation will not allow you to share this, and the pain is intense if this happens. Another worse case scenario is that he may just use you and later break you as well. But if he's worth all the risks, go for it. Tenyson said, it's better to love and lost, than never at all.

    I also suggest, whatever hard it may seem, to find more friends and learn how to socialize more. I am still trying to be more open and sociable myself and it's not easy after years of locking myself and feelings.

    John
     
  7. LookingGlass

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2011
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I say this to everyone in situations similar to t is: DON'T assume he's gay or bisexual
     
  8. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I gotta echo Lex...but also LookingGlass. I'll admit that based on your description it sounds like something may be up (especially the flirty thing with the legs), but hey, who knows - we stretch these stories all kinds of ways to feed into the version of events we want to be true.

    Definitely ask him if he wants to study sometime - and hey, if he doesn't, or if he turns out not to be gay or even freaked out by the idea, then just count it as a victory for yourself - you put yourself out there and got a little more used to socializing with people in that way. Training yourself to do that will pay off in the long run if not the short run.
     
  9. BlueBoyXTJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
  10. BlueBoyXTJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well since I cant find out how to edit thread post if you can or not or edit my individual post I guess I have to edit it here. I cant find the Edit post button.

    November

    Well I did invite him over eventually. While we worked on our school work I gave him slight touches. He didn't move an Inch. Its as if he was completely comfortable with it. I rubbed his back a bit slightly and touched his shoulder a lot when he was sitting down. Then I eventually started to move close to him. He didn't move away from me. I pointed to problems and things we needed to work on and touched his leg a little time from time. I gave him some eye contact time from time. I was being very happy spirited. Always laughing when he makes jokes or encouraging him. I told him about his features gradually. I told him about how strong his hands looked and admired his shoe size. I touched his hands a lot while we talked. Once again. Not a ounce of negative reaction toward it. The day later came to a close and he went home to present his work on Monday. I invited him over the following day. It was wild. I touched him even more and held his hand occasionally while i showed him something. I asked about some homework and a study guide he had. We sat studying for about 25 mins. While I made a little contact with his legs to show him where bones were because of a test we studied I gradually moved towards his stomach. I stopped at his crotch accidentally, however he didnt seem to be bothered. So I left my hand there and started to move even closer to him. It eventually came to the point where I started to rub him in that area. He did not respond negatively. This happens for about 15 mins. I asked him how he felt. Was he hot or anything. He responded, " I just feel a little unconformable", but then he said its nice in a soft, weak, and satisfied tone. I asked him does he like me. I said I'm not gay in a weird way but he was extremely aroused. He was turning red, and his crotch was like concrete. I stopped because I felt sorry and couldn't go on anymore. I was depressed for a whole day. Love sick about how I didn't get to kiss or tell him how I feel about him. He noticed I was looking depressed. He asked me whats wrong? I responded softly with a emotionless "nothing". Later on that day he asked me in a whisper, could he come over again. I'd think he would want to avoid me for a bit, but he actually looked at me a lot that day. He told me he wouldn't tell anyone about how I liked him. I'm thinking of telling him about how I truly feel about him. I didn't get a chance.
     
  11. diniesaur

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2011
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Congratulations! I'm not capable of that kind of social maneuvering, but I'm glad you were able to pull it off! He seems like a really nice guy.
     
  12. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Honestly, there's no need to tell him how you feel. Your actions speak louder than words. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  13. BlueBoyXTJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    My actions show lust, theres so many other things I could tell him.
     
  14. ballin1718

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    this is awesome! good for u let us know how things go from here.even if a relationship doesnt blossom u had the balls to make a move, something most guys are too scared to do.
     
  15. NeecoVirus

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi! Just read your post... I think you might be over thinking the entire situation. To be honest, try and get to know him better. Do you even know if he's gay? Just saying this, because I don't want you to get your hopes up and have them crushed. I would say, try to start off with the mindset of being his friend, instead of getting into his pants. Just reading the "your type of man" it seemed a lot of it was physical and horny lol. So, take things slow and get to know him a better first. Is he homophobic? When you get to know him better, you can find ways to bring up the subject matter.

    If you go into it with the mindset to just be friends and see where it goes from there, it may help your 2 sentence problems.