Advice for a Bisexual whose been afraid to start a relationship with another man.

In present times its still taboo to be gay and I've always consider myself a straight man. Other than one sexual relationship with one of my gay (male)friends, which lasted about a month. That was ~6 years ago and all my other sexual partners have been girls. I've recently turned 26 years old and just stopped for a moment tonight and considered what it would be like to have a relationship with another man. I think I would enjoy it, but I can't imagine what would happen as far as the reactions and change of perception of me from my friends and family. I think if I moved to another city, I could have an openly gay relationship and be fine with trying it, without shocking everyone I know.

I need to hear some suggestions on what I should do. Advice? I also have a considerable amount of social anxiety as it is.

---------- Post added 4th Nov 2011 at 01:29 AM ----------

Also, more info about myself. I'm from a small town in Mississippi. Raised by my Mother who is straight, but once had a relationship with another woman when I was 12-15 years old, although she never has wanted to talk about it since, and that was 11 years ago now. I've been single, other than a few semi-relationship type things here-and-there, for about 5 years now. The last serious girlfriend I had found out that I had a male lover during a time we were seperated close to the end of our 5 year relationship.

 

Also, I'm kinda freaking out about this now, because I've kinda figured to myself that over the last few years, the 5 single years, that it was just due to my business on the seemingly last minute attempt to get a college degree and get my live on track, as im not a kid anymore, its also been a great timespan which has been a personal spirtual self discover journy of a 5 years but maybe the reason it was single this whole time was because I would rather be with a guy, I've always had it somewhere in my subconscious since i was a teenager but only has a fantasy thing only and never considered the idea of having a normal relationship with another man due to the perception of gay people in todays society, especially in Mississippi, USA.

---------- Post added 4th Nov 2011 at 01:51 AM ----------

After typing what I have typed in the previous comments, and having these thoughts raging through my mind, I really need someone to talk to now. I would greatly appreciate anyone out there currently browsing this thread, on this site, at this moment in time who graciously share some comfort or advice now.

 

after the most epic freakout-via-google searches kinda night in history and some seriously deranged crys for help from, and this is uptmost important here, an otherwise common day, person. One who's intelligent by, what I can honsetly call one of the most modest down-to-earth lifes in the world on any given other day. cant even rememberwhere i was going with that runon sentence, so tired now. but oh yeah, im thinking of writing a book about it, and ive never written a book about anything before in my life, about my life story and the subsequent "one - night -meltdown" of sorts I've had tonight, albeit a drug-nduced one in the beginning which, instead of a night guilt0free "transgender pornography" I ended up coming up with an idea that could change the world, in theory of course, as such ambitions start. The theory is that google should have a "breast cancer awareness type ribbon thingy- on their site, which somehow is completely unanimous and hack-free, with chat support for and one person in the world with access to the internet, whom is so anxiety - attack ridden- on drugs whatever can get someone to talk to immidiately without truely notifiying anyone such as calling 911 and having the suicide watch come and take, an otherwise normal by every strech of the word person from going through a night like mine to see if that had already happened at somepoint "

"oh and I found out once and for all that hte government will not show up at your door barring anything self abusive type behavior for sure tonight, i hope this wasnt epic enough to end up on some viral tv show type thing after all this but if so maybe it would be a good thing."

Other than all that, I'm now perfectly fine, and coming down. going to get ready for work in the afternoon sometime soon now." and see how tomorrow goes for me after tonight, who knows? isnt that the most beautiful thing about life to begin with"

/end crazy rant from, i swear im not crazy just the unspoken, many similar type world-view sharing type people. who would be crazy to read all of this rant in the first place. thoughts? probably not hte clearest article in the world but better than some of the writing you'll find on legitment wegsites these days.
:sleep: